Nothing like someone asking you, "How did you do all that?" to boost your self-esteem and make you believe you can push through anything, even this boulder in front of you that seems immovable.
An old friend called me today while I'm visiting my home country.
He asked, “Angela, you’ve lived in all these countries, it just dawned on me, how did you do that? It’s probably a whole skillset you’ve developed, right?”
Then I shared my strategy that's worked in every one of the 16 countries I've lived in. (A blog for another day perhaps).
I was also interviewed for a podcast yesterday.
The host asked, “Angela, you coach many people. Are they all successful, or do you also coach people who fail and need to get back on their feet?”
Fundamental truth of life,
Everyone struggles with something you know nothing about. Every single person. If not right now, then consistently over time.
We all experience moments of failure, then success, and then swing at new goals only to land back in another valley of failure. That's life's journey. That's how growth works.
The key skill I coach people on, across every shade of success and failure, is getting through this cycle quicker, bouncing back faster. That's what they call resilience.
When it comes to mindset, there are three fundamental skills I help people build,
Temporal Travel: Zoom out from this moment of "failure" and notice all the challenges you've navigated before. Look at how far you've come, how much you've grown - look at all the past challenges that you survived and kept going, you can probably laugh at most of them. Then look ahead see all the opportunities your future holds to succeed (and these are increasing even faster now with AI). And this moment, a month from now, a year from now, will it matter? Or you'll find a way and will be smiling at the beauty of life? Maybe you can start smiling now? :)
GAIN vs. GAP Thinking: Stop focusing solely on how much you still lack or what you haven't figured out yet. Instead, regularly acknowledge your milestones. Look at the past 5-10 years - you've hit so many growth milestones, overcome so much, learned so much, and lived through a lot. Today's "failure" is actually a milestone of upcoming success in disguise, a challenge indicating how far you've come and the mountain you are climbing. Aren't today's challenges harder than before? Isn't what's now easy something that once felt impossible?
"So What?" Socratic Questioning: You're in a pit, you feel like you blew it, and you're convinced nothing will ever work again. So what? If you keep thinking like this, how does it help you? Is it serving you? Are you going to give up, feel miserable forever, try nothing, achieve nothing, and believe you're worthless? And then what? Life just stays dull until you die? Is that your choice? Or, realistically, given your experiences and the increasing opportunities around you, isn't it logical to assume you can succeed? If you give it your all, isn't it likely that you'll build something amazing?
So what are you waiting for?
Start moving sooner. Your turnaround will follow.
Failure is inevitable. How you navigate your way out—that's what makes the difference.
