Talking to smart people, who are really into their stuff, niche experts, obsessed, geeks with a job title - it is one of the fastest ways to upgrade how you think, your mindset, your understanding of how life stuff works.
Yesterday I spoke with Michael Hallsworth, one of the most influential behavioral scientists in the world and the Chief Behavioral Scientist at the Behavioral Insights Team consulting.
We talked about behavior change at scale.
And yet so much of what he said maps directly onto everyday life, the habits that shape us, and the invisible forces that drive our choices.
I see it play out in coaching every day.
Here are 4 things that stood out the most.
1. SEE THE SYSTEM
We love to think our behaviors are personal. But persistent behaviors are almost always systemic.
You overwork?
Your whole environment is probably set up to reward it - your team, your culture, your calendar defaults, your beliefs about success.
You snack late at night? Look at the cues: stress at 10pm, kitchen lighting, notifications, the Netflix autoplay.
You struggle to sleep? Your whole evening routine is a system designed to keep you awake.
Michael reminded me that behavior doesn’t happen in isolation. Every system is perfectly designed for the results it’s getting.
So the useful question is: What is your system optimized for right now? And if you want different behavior, what part of the system needs to be redesigned?
2. THINK SOCIAL
We pretend we're independent thinkers. We aren’t.
Our choices, down to what we eat, how we dress, how much we work, how we parent, how we rest - are shaped by the norms surrounding us.
I see this constantly with clients:
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People eat better when their partner is on board.
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People exercise more when their friends do.
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Founders take bigger, but better calculated risks when they’re around other founders doing it.
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Middle managers drop new habits the moment the N1 rolls their eyes.
No behavior exists outside of a social network.
So when you want to change something, ask:
“Does my social environment support the new version of me?”
Often the problem isn’t motivation - it’s misalignment.
3. FLEXIBLE FRAMING
“The way you look at things changes things.”
This is the power of framing, and Michael’s work agrees with how powerful it is.
You can hold multiple perspectives on the same situation without the situation changing at all. And that changes what you do, what results you get.
Take sleep.
Seen individually, it feels like an uphill battle against late-night emails, social pressure, and everyone saying, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
But reframe it as a family, or culture redesign, a collective upgrade, and suddenly:
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You create a team effort
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You build shared routines
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You get natural accountability
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The emotional resistance drops to zero - you are inspired to lead the herd!
The facts stay the same.
The feeling, and your ability to act, changes completely.
Same with workplace change:
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If “feedback” feels threatening, call it “coaching conversations.”
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If “performance improvement” feels punitive, call it “leveling up your next-level skills.”
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If “resetting culture” feels heavy, frame it as “designing a better future together, one organizational habit at a time.”
Nothing changes - and yet everything does.
4. CO-DESIGN
Most people resist change not because change is hard but because change feels like it's done to them not with them.
Michael and I talked about how much smoother change becomes when people co-create the path instead of being handed a prescription they never agreed to.
I see this with:
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Clients rebuilding their health
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Leaders redesigning team rituals
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Parents shifting family routines
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Companies rewriting their culture
If I walk in with “the perfect solution,” resistance spikes.
If we build it together, momentum skyrockets.
This works because:
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Everyone is the expert of their own life
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We want agency
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We want ownership
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We want to feel like this is our idea, not someone else’s plan imposed on us
Change sticks when people feel like they’re on the same team, walking the path together side by side.
These 4 lessons apply whether you're changing one habit, a team routine, or an entire organization.
Seeing the system.
Understanding the social layer.
Reframing the problem to see many solutions - taking perspectives.
Co-designing, co-owning the solution.
Have you thought about any of these in your own life or work? Which one feels closest to home right now?
