Most often you fail at change because you start at the middle.
Sometime ago I realized why my sales weren’t clicking.
I was listening to Alex Hormozi talk about “the bridge of skills” The idea is simple: for most complex goals, like sales, you don’t get results until all the pieces are in place. You don't cross the bridge if you miss a brick in the middle.
Sales isn’t one skill. It’s a chain.
Prospecting.
Opening the conversation.
Building rapport.
Doing real problem discovery.
Positioning yourself as an expert.
Proposing the right solution, in the right way, at the right time.
...
Miss one link and the whole thing wobbles. Maybe it works once but it won’t work consistently.
Yesterday, while studying the stages of change in my coaching course, I saw the exact same pattern.
Change is not one act.
It’s a sequence.
Each stage requires its own tools, mindset, and skill set. When the conditions for every stage are met, all bricks are in place - change happens and you get to the other side transformed.
One of the most important roles of a coach is helping a client to move through those stages faster and more prepared, more strategic, from pre-contemplation (not even sure change is needed and there's a problem) all the way to maintenance.
I called it:
THE BRIDGE OF CHANGE 🌉
If you want lasting change, you don’t leap.
You build every step.
Brick by brick.
1. Precontemplation
You need awareness.
Awareness of the problem.
Awareness of the cost of staying the same.
Awareness of how it affects your future, your work, your relationships.
This is the “why bother?” stage.
Without this, action is like a passing cloud, comes and goes as the winds change.
Why do you want to get healthier? Why do you want to get better at writing or sales? What "fitter" will do for your life? What will be negative about your life if you don't do this change?
2. Contemplation
Now you weigh the pros and cons.
Do the benefits of changing outweigh the discomfort? (For you)
Is this aligned with who you want to become?
Change has to feel like identity building, not punishment.
If it’s not personally meaningful, you won’t sustain it. Your brain is always asking, "What's in it for me?"
Are you ready to pay the "price" of getting there?
3. Planning
Here’s where you design.
Small, concrete steps.
Tools. Goals setting.
Environment adjustments.
People who support you.
First visible moves.
This stage builds confidence, committment and preparation. You start seeing yourself crossing that bridge. You get all the building material, learn about the construction process.
No vague intentions. Specific moves. Your mean it this time! You set yourself up for success.
4. Action
Now you practice.
Not once. Not when you feel like it.
Consistently. For months.
You eliminate triggers for old habits.
You design rewards for new ones.
You manage urges and cracings, you learn from mistakes as a part of your journey.
You shape your environment and social circle to support the new identity.
This is where most people try to start.
Without the earlier bricks.
And then they crash.
5. Maintenance
The behavior becomes automatic.
It’s not a struggle.
It’s just who you are now.
No constant temptation. No daily internal debate.
Just do it :) It's part of your life. This is how my clients wake up doing all the right things feeling like no work at all.
There's power in understanding this process:
You stop trying to jump to Action when you haven’t built Awareness.
You stop forcing discipline when you haven’t built Meaning or Tools and Systems.
You stop blaming yourself when what’s missing is structure.
...
At each stage you build skill.
You build systems.
You learn.
You grow more capable.
The bridge gets stronger. And then you make it to the other side and the land of happily ever after.
Over to you, dear reader,
What are you trying to change right now? What stage of change are you in? And what brick do you need to put in place to cross that bridge to lasting transformation?
