The best way to get to a destination is to know where you want to go.
Sounds obvious. I know.
And yet, when it comes to some of the biggest life decisions:
what business to build or what job to take,
who to spend our life with,
where to live -
we often keep ourselves in the fog.
Then we get frustrated that we didn’t end up where and with what/who we wanted.
A client of mine was frustrated with yet another business idea that didn’t work out for her, that didn't meet her expectations.
I asked, “What didn’t work exactly?”
She gave me the full list.
So I asked, “Did you know you’d need these things in advance?”
She did.
“Did you check for them when you decided to go for it?”
Silence.
She realized she hoped it would become that.
But logically, it didn’t make sense.
There were no signs it ever would.
She just liked the idea of it. In the best-case scenario.
We do the same thing in relationships.
We like something about a person, and completely forget to check the list of things that drove us crazy in the last one.
We hope it’ll be different.
We don’t look for the signs.
We just like the idea of that person becoming who we want.
I once was offered a reeeeeally great apartment.
Perfect on paper.
Except it was in an area where I couldn’t comfortably walk. And I'm a BIG walker!
Middle of the city. Traffic. Noise. It would kill my mojo every day!
I said no.
Not because it was “bad.”
But because I knew it would quietly drain the quality of my days.
Even though I didn’t have a better option at the time.
Even though for someone else it would’ve been a dream. I wouldn't take it unless I absolutely had to.
Getting to know YOU takes time. And it's the most important investment.
What actually makes you happy?
The place you live.
The people around you.
The way you work.
What do you absolutely hate?
What values and principles can you not compromise on, without slowly betraying yourself?
What makes a day good even when everything is flying all over the place?
What does your best self need to grow? When/where/with who are you at your best?
…
If you don’t take the time to learn this, you can end up with a “pretty good” life.
One that makes you numb at best.
Miserable at worst.
And you’ll keep waiting to stumble into what you really want.
Some day.
Over to you, dear reader,
If you have a track record of choices that didn’t make you happy, or you’re unsure where to go next, pause and ask this:
What do you still need to learn about yourself to start aligning your choices with what your best self actually needs?
