“I feel like a whole year of my life was a waste. I’ve achieved nothing I wanted.”
A client shared before their birthday as I suggested to do some reflection.
But you lived. That counts. And if nothing else, there are lessons there, valuable ones, insights for your future success. You just have to pause long enough to find them.
Most people don’t.
They want to get on with life. Work. Projects. Resolutions. New ideas.
They skip the uncomfortable part, looking at what didn’t work.
The shortcomings.
The things you’ve done (again) that you swore you’d never do (again).
The habits you failed to build.
The promises you broke to yourself. (Painful)
And so the cycle repeats.
We say, “It’s a new chapter.”
But we bring the same self into it.
What if instead, you stopped? Just stopped.
And looked at the very thing you keep failing at.
And instead of blaming yourself, you accepted the mismatch.
What if you said:
-
I suck at building businesses solo.
→ So maybe I join one first. Learn. Get paid to figure it out. Or find a co-founder who loves what I keep failing at. -
I keep choosing partners who drain me.
→ So maybe it’s time to choose solitude over sabotage. -
I can’t do restrictive diets.
→ So maybe I stop pretending I should, and find a joyful way to eat well. -
I’m not “organized” the way others want me to be.
→ Maybe I’m not broken. Maybe I just need systems that work for me.
That’s the moment it all shifts.
Not by fixing your flaws. But by seeing yourself.
By working with yourself, not against yourself.
Building a success plan that includes YOU, not the version you think you’re supposed to be.
DEI doesn’t start in the workplace.
It starts in your own life.
Diversity of welcoming your unique traits.
Equity in the way you treat every part of you, not just "the good ones".
Inclusion of your actual strengths, quirks, and ways of doing things, not just the ones accepted and praised by others.
So.
What could your next year look like, if you stopped trying to become someone else?
And just built on the truth of who you already are?
