What you don't see might be what you most need to see
“Inattentional blindness,” writes Dan Heath in Upstream: how to solve problems before they happen, “is a phenomenon in which our careful attention to one task leads us to miss important information that's related to the task. When it's coupled with time pressure, it can create a lack of curiosity.”
That’s how you miss a gorilla running across a basketball court because you're too busy counting passes.
It’s also how you can go through life seeing only flaws, as a result stuck there even though opportunities for better life and work are floating all around you.
I never quite feel at ease around my dad.
Recently I realized why:
He’s always scanning for what’s wrong. What’s missing. What’s not good enough.
In the world. In people. In me.
And probably, most of all, in himself.
Only now do I understand - that’s not me. That’s how he’s been conditioned to see.
To focus on what needs fixing instead of what’s worth building.
No wonder he rarely smiles.
The more time I spend coaching, the more I realize:
Focusing all your attention on what’s not working - on problems, flaws, deficiencies - is actually one of the least effective ways to change anything.
People.
Organizations.
The world.
It’s deeply demotivating over time.
No one leaps out of bed excited to fix what’s broken.
People wake up energized to create, to build, to grow something better. And there’s a world of difference between the two.
When you’re stuck in what’s wrong, you can’t see what’s possible.
You lose the ability to access the full spectrum of solutions, especially the unconventional ones that require divergent thinking or creative cross-pollination from other fields (and yes, research backs this up).
You become myopic. So laser-focused on the problem that you miss the walkarounds.
You miss the leverage points.
You miss the strengths and resources already available because your brain is locked into the world as it is, instead of asking how it got here or what else might be possible.
That's probably what Einstein truly meant when he said that you can't solve the problem with the same level of thinking.
In coaching, I’ve learned there’s a better way.
A more energizing, human, and lasting approach to change.
At Precision Nutrition, it’s called awesome-based coaching.
Here’s how it works. And it can be applied to any problem in the world, orgs, systems of any sort.
“There are so many things you are doing well. Let’s collaborate on how we can leverage these to make more success happen.”
Which one feels energizing? Expansive? Empowering? Lasting? Motivating?“Let’s zero in on these couple of spots that aren’t perfect, get disciplined about pushing yourself into obsessing about them until you get perfect so you finally can be OK about your life.”
Which one makes you want to do more, not because you have to, but because you want to?
In my experience, awesome-based coaching is what actually works.
It’s how my clients get lasting results, body mind work transformations, and enjoy the process of becoming more of who they already are at their best.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s also a much better way to build teams, grow cultures, and shape systems that allow humans to thrive.
Not by fixating on fixing what's broken.
But by seeing what’s strong and helping it grow.
PS: You don't need more discipline. You need something you care about deeply.