You don’t know how much you can change until you actually do.
When I work with clients for a year or two, and we look back, it often feels like we’re talking about two different people.
Their thinking is different.
Their habits are different.
What used to be hard is now easy.
What once felt impossible is simply… normal.
I’ve seen the shift over and over, and over again.
From couch potatoes who never stepped into a gym
…to people I sometimes have to convince to take a recovery day.
From “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”
…to recommending sleep to everyone, where seven hours is now considered a “bad night.”
From potatoes being the only vegetable on the plate
…to enjoying kale chips as snacks and traveling with roasted edamame and apples just to make sure they get enough fiber.
From “I don’t have a minute for myself — meditation is out of the question”
…to “I want to get really good at this mindfulness thing so I have that unfair advantage of being calm and seeing more options when everyone else is stressed.”
From burnout after burnout
…to weekly yoga, clear boundaries, sauna sessions, getting sick less often, and actually moving meaningful things forward in life more not less.
It’s remarkable to witness and reflect on.
And it never happens overnight.
The ABCs of Change
I've just learned a coaching tool that describes this process beautifully. I will now use it with clients as they move through different levels of self-mastery.
The ABCs of Change.
When I was a kid, my vegetable consumption looked something like this:
A-list: potatoes and carrots🥔
Anytime. Easy.
B-list: tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce🍅
Sometimes. Not my favorite, but acceptable.
C-list: onions and anything green
Best avoided. “I’d rather stay hungry.”
When clients work on introducing new habits into their life - exercise, better nutrition, meditation, communication skills - we map their own ABCs.
What can you confidently do right now? (A)
What could you do with some effort? (B)
What feels like “not now… maybe never”? (C)
Instead of forcing massive change, we work with the lists.
As progress happens, something interesting occurs.
The lists start shifting.
C becomes B.
B becomes A.
And entirely new possibilities appear that weren’t even imaginable before.
Identity shifts.
Capacity expands.
The person evolves.
Just like my kid food preferences evolved over time. Today I regularly eat — and genuinely enjoy — things my younger self would have refused completely: Brussels sprouts, sardines, even natto.
Change works like that too for most of us.
What once felt impossible becomes familiar.
Then easy.
Then part of who you are.
So don’t get too attached to your old self.
You might accidentally block the new one that’s trying to enter through your ABCs.
Over to you, dear reader,
What change do you want to make right now?
And what do your A, B, and C lists look like today?
Maybe it’s time to start exploring the next letter?