We talk a lot about how terrible our attention spans have become.
How we can’t focus.
How we forget things.
How everything slips our minds.
We know our attention is fragile. We know it can be hijacked in seconds.
But what I find interesting that we rarely use that fact on purpose.
Rarely use it to shift our emotional state.
To interrupt an urge, the craving. To stress less about difficult people or something challenging in our life.
To zoom out and act from the long-term instead of chasing short-term relief.
Yesterday a client asked me:
“How do you shift your negative feelings when you have to spend time with people you don’t necessarily like? Or when you’re stuck in situations you can’t escape? Situations that stress you out?”
I told him my dentist story.
When I’m at the dentist, no matter how you frame it, it’s not pleasant.
And yes, mindfulness is powerful. Presence matters.
But in that chair?
Mentally and emotionally, I don’t want to be present. I want to be somewhere else.
And I can.
You can time and space-travel anytime you want.
Attention management isn’t just about focusing on the here and now.
It’s also about deliberately focusing somewhere else when “now” isn’t serving your wellbeing.
So when I’m in that chair, I imagine the beach.
A sunset.
Ice-cream.
Good company.
I train my visualization muscle.
The discomfort feels more distant.
Time moves faster.
My body relaxes.
It’s not denial of the present.
It’s re-direction of my attention to where it serves me best.
You can do the same with difficult people, or that challenging transition in your life or work.
Think in 10 hours.
10 days.
10 months.
This will be over.
Feel how fleeting it is. Feel the future relief in advance.
It shrinks your present irritation.
If in less than an hour, or even a few days, this will be over, perhaps, you can start feeling like it's over right now.
Or if you’re in a hard transition — career, life, identity — borrow strength from your past.
Remember the times you figured things out.
The times you survived.
The times you made things better.
Let the past support the present self, borrow that confidence to take the next step.
There was a moment that made this very clear to me.
I saw a child crying hysterically because the parent said they would get ice-cream later🍦
I caught myself thinking, “Why are kids so dramatic about so many tiny things?”
Then I remembered: a complex understanding of time develops around age four or five. Before that, “later” barely exists.
For a child, now is everything.
Just like for cats and dogs.
We adults aren’t that different either.
We call it Present Bias.
We overvalue now.
We overreact to now.
We forget that later is coming and it's not the end of the world.
Optimal mental health isn’t always about being fully present.
Sometimes it’s about self-distancing, a very effective emotional regulation technique.
Zooming out.
Spatial travel.
Time travel.
Imagining how a wiser friend would view this moment.
Checking out strategically can reduce stress, regulate cravings, and help you choose differently now for a better future to come.
Over to you, dear reader,
