I noticed…
That’s one of my favorite ways to begin a coaching conversation.
“What did you notice since we last spoke?”
It’s a gentle entry point.
Not a demand for wins or losses. Not a spotlight on progress or failure. Just an invitation to pay attention.
Noticing is neutral.
It widens the filter instead of zeroing-in on something specific.
It allows you to see not only the big victories or the glaring mistakes but also the subtler signals: the tug of an idea, a shift in the mood, the flicker of a feeling that says something matters here.
I noticed (from clients' files)…
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that I wanted to start a conversation with a colleague but held back because I didn’t feel “successful” enough in that moment.
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that people at work stay quiet when I speak - I might be coming across too strongly.
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that when I’m tired, my food decisions get worse. I’d like to build more awareness in those moments.
“I noticed” captures the quiet voice of your values before judgment barges in, before the internal drill sergeant tells you "I told you so". It puts your wise mind—the bridge between heart and head—in the driver’s seat.
And what's even cooler, noticing doesn’t just change you. It changes the people around you.
Dr. Zach Mercurio, in The Power of Mattering, shares research showing that when leaders intentionally notice people - what they contribute, how they show up, the difference their presence makes - it measurably boosts engagement and belonging. One study he cites, "employees who feel genuinely noticed are 4.6 times more likely to feel empowered to do their best work".
Zach writes about a simple but profound example: a manager who made it a daily ritual to stop by one employee’s desk, point out a small but specific contribution, and thank them. The ripple effects were staggering. Productivity went up. Retention improved. But most importantly, people felt they mattered. And THAT changed everything.
Notice:
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A single sentence of observation repeated can strengthen a culture.
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A pattern of consistently noticing the subtle expressions of the whole you changes how you show up with no need for discipline or strong will.
So maybe becoming a better human(ity) isn’t about grand strategies or waiting for breakthrough moments. Maybe it’s as simple as one phrase, repeated often enough:
“I noticed...”
What would shift if you began today’s conversations - with yourself, your team, your partner - with those two words?
PS Story time (from The Power of Mattering): a CEO started a new practice, beginning leadership meetings with a ritual: before diving into metrics or issues, each person had to share something they noticed about a colleague’s contribution that week.
At first it felt forced. But over time, it became the most anticipated part of the meeting. People started looking for opportunities to notice each other during the week. The practice didn’t just boost morale, it improved collaboration and performance, because team members felt their efforts were seen, needed and valued.
