(Subtitle - Comfort or Growth? Comfort blanket or mountain at sunrise?)
Every Friday at sunrise, we climb a mountain.
And every Friday, 2 forces pull me in opposite directions.
Stay under the blanket.
Or get up, drive in the dark, meet new people, climb hard, breathe deep.
Comfort or growth?
Stay in your home country and follow the familiar path.
Or go explore the world, build something new, let life's path with its challenges and rewards unfold over time in its unique way.
Eat the ice cream because the week didn’t go as planned.
Or go to bed early, hit the 6am workout, and face what needs adjusting.
Competing priorities.
Or as I learned in yesterday’s coaching class — inner conflicts.
“I want X… but I also want Y.”
Most people think this tension is a bug. Something to eliminate.
Many of my clients come to me hoping we can “fix” it. Remove the conflict. Choose once and for all. Build the ideal self where all the shoulds become dones.
But that’s a fantasy. An illusion.
The tension isn’t a flaw.
It’s a feature of being human.
The goal isn’t to make one value win — comfort over growth, belonging over self-expression, achievement over health, success over family.
The real work is a bit harder.
Integration.
Learning to walk the tension.
To honor the parts of you that want safety and the parts that want expansion.
To build a life where your values don’t fight but collaborate.
Here are a few useful questions you can use with clients, or with yourself, when you feel stuck in that pull:
- Why is X important to you? What value does it express?
- Why is Y important to you? What value does it protect?
- What does this conflict actually mean to you about who you are becoming?
- How do these values relate to your need for comfort and your need for growth?
- How might you design your life to honor both, instead of sacrificing one or the other?
When you explore these with an open mind, something interesting happens.
You realize both sides are trying to serve YOU.
Joy and discipline.
Adventure and loyalty.
Ambition and health.
A piece of chocolate with morning coffee — for joy.
Learning moderation — for health.
Exploring the world, while calling your family daily, showing up when it's meaningful and important.
Climbing the mountain at sunrise, knowing your blanket will still be there at night.
The tension doesn’t disappear.
You just get better at holding it, walking your path in-between.
Over to you, dear reader,
What is pulling you in 2 directions right now, and how might you design a way to honor both sides of yourself instead of choosing only one?