Our self-development often fails for one simple reason: we forget.
Not because the intention wasn’t strong. Not because we don't value what we say we do. But because life gets in the way.
Or because we use the wrong kind of reminders.
The best tool ever invented for self-development? A planner.
These days, I never let a client leave a session without a calendar commitment.
Want to work on strategy, self-awareness, your recovery?
Great!
When? Where? How? What will remind you to take that action? If it’s not in your planner or calendar, it’s not happening. You're busy.
And if they truly don’t have time? Then we set a reminder to revisit it on a specific date. That way, it doesn’t die in the “intention bucket.”
I know the “intention bucket” well.
Mine was overflowing once: get better at sales, polish presentations, grow my network, practice Italian… blah blah blah.
And most of it never happened. Other things rushed in, urgent, seemingly very important. Even the meaningful ones connected to my deepest values - my health, relationships, or serving my clients better - slipped away. Status quo and habits took over.
Tony Robbins, the world's greatest life coach, says,
“Never leave the site of a goal without a plan of action.”
David Allen, the creator of one of the most popular productivity systems, Getting Things Done, agrees,
"Never keep an intention without a date attached to it."
Behavioral scientists go even further with something called JITAIs - “Just in Time Adaptive Interventions.” These are reminders or prompts designed to appear exactly when you’re most able to act.
Example: when I see an email related to my studies mid-morning, I snooze it until 6 p.m. and I star it - the time I usually study. So when I sit down at my desk that evening, the email shows up again, right where and when I’m ready to take action.
The missing piece of our good intentions: good systems of meaningful triggers.
Without them, even your best, most heartfelt intentions die unfulfilled, your potential withers.
With them, you multiply the chances that your better self will grow up.
Over to you dear reader,
Do you have a system of triggers that protects not just your urgent work, but your important future self? Or does your intentions bucket get a refill again?