Neuroscience just canceled willpower. Rethinking habits and why we make choices we later regret.

You don't do the easiest thing. You do the most valuable for you in the moment thing.

A client working on sleep told me, “I never thought change could be as simple as deciding.”
What she meant: once her decision lined up with what she values, the struggle disappeared.

Not willpower. Values power.

Neuroscience starts telling a different story about how we make choices.

Our brains don’t default to “whatever’s easiest.” They estimate value instead. And value is a complex equation.

We generate options, judge what each one is worth to us right now, choose the top option, and update our internal math based on the result.

That’s value-based decision-making. It’s how the brain tries to be useful, not lazy. PubMed

there are three basic stages to what neuroscientists call value-based decision-making. First, our brains determine what options they are choosing between, assign a subjective value to each one, and identify the option with the highest value in that moment. This means that from the start, our choices are shaped by what we consider the possible options in the first place. Next, our brains move forward with what is perceived as the highest-value choice (which may or may not be the best choice in the context of our larger goals or longer-term well-being). This means that there isn’t one single right answer, and what our brains perceive to be the “highest-value” option right now might change if considered from other perspectives (for example, when thinking about career goals versus wanting to be a good friend). Finally, when we’ve made the choice, our brains track how rewarding it turns out to be, so they can update how they make the calculation next time; this means that we often overweight the outcomes of our choices rather than improving our process.”

~ Dr Emily Falk. "What We Value: The Neuroscience of Choice and Change"

Emily Falk’s work argues that when we understand how the brain’s value system works, we can see “many possible paths to our goals,” not just the obvious ones. Translation: if you want a different habit, change the menu your brain is evaluating. Scientific American

A quick story (and a confession)

I used to eat sweets as my main stress-releasing pill. Tired? Stressed? Sad? Lonely? - Hello cookies🍪

Then, by applying CBT coaching method, I made a re-calculation.

5 minutes of sugar versus years of steady energy, clear skin, stable mood, no weight drama?

The long-term won. Once my values shifted, the choices shifted. Now, in a bakery, I don’t “resist.” I just don’t include pastry in the option set. It’s not food for me anymore.

And this is what many people outside coaching don't really get, when struggling with behavior patterns - your brain’s decision-making process is fast and silent, and you don't bother to slow it down to redo your brain's math. And THAT's why you struggle.

Most days you (1) limit options without noticing, (2) pick the “highest value” in that moment, and (3) settle on the outcome so the next choice is faster.

Useful - until your auto-pilot leads you somewhere you no longer want to go.

3 small levers that change your habits without willpower

Dr Amily Falk offers 3 places to intervene, to align your choices with the highest value overall, not just in the moment:

  1. Imagine more options. Expand the menu. “Go to bed” isn’t binary, nor is food. You can eat a protein cookie, go to bed 15 minutes earlier this week, go for a walk instead of starting to run. More options = better odds one feels valuable now and later. (You’re giving your brain more “paths to the goal.”)

  2. Re-value the options. Judge by now and later. Ask: “What’s this worth to me tonight? What’s it worth to future-me in a week? A year?” That tiny “future check” often flips the winner. Is 1 minute of sugar really worth my entire life in front of me?

  3. Re-weigh the outcome. After you choose, don’t just notice whether it felt good. Notice what it bought you. “I slept 7.5 hours and my 10 a.m. meeting was sharp. And at night, I really was there for my family”. Your brain updates the math. Make sure it’s updating on the right signals, not just the quickest dopamine.

You got it all wrong! I got it all wrong!

The brain doesn't go for the easiest thing - otherwise we wouldn't have all these remarkable achievements, often with a lot of self-sacrifice.
The brain goes for what YOU value most. It's just you often don't stop to think what that actually is.

Try this tonight (5 minutes)

Pick one sticky habit.
Then run the 3-Step Re-Value:

  • Expand: List 3–5 alternate moves you could make in the same moment.

  • Evaluate: For each, rate 1–10 for now value and later value. Circle the first option with a strong combined score.

  • Encode: After you try it, write one line: “What did this actually buy me?” Repeat for 3 days. Let your brain learn what to prefer.

Your habits aren’t a willpower problem.

They’re a value-calculation problem - one you can solve.

So, dear reader, which choice needs a re-valuation this week, and what new option will you add to tonight’s menu?