You can feel the feeling, you can do the thing
“You can feel something negative – you can feel demotivated or defeated or depressed – and still act in the service of your long-term goals.”
~ Scott Barry Kaufman, Rise Above
Dr. Scott is one of the most prolific psychologists in the world studying human potential. He founded the Center for Human Potential. He’s also a coach. His work resonates deeply with me.
In Rise Above, his latest book, he talks about divorcing the various expressions of our inner victimhood - trauma, emotions, cognitive distortions, low self-worth, the compulsive need to please.
These things are real. They are part of being us, humans. But they don’t have to run the show.
We have agency.
When you set a meaningful goal, tough moments are guaranteed. You’ll feel overwhelmed, pulled in too many directions, like you’re already carrying too much. You’ll doubt yourself. You might think, Who am I to want this? You’ll worry you’re letting people down just by daring to want more.
That’s not weakness. That’s being human.
But here’s what the most fulfilled people know and act on:
You don’t have to change your goals because of those feelings.
And you don’t have to wait until you feel different to begin.
In fact, feelings are byproducts of doing. So start, and you'll have a different feeling.
You can feel lazy and still show up for your workout.
You can feel like an imposter and still stand up to speak.
You can feel like life gave you a rough hand - a bumpy runway instead of a launchpad - and still build a life you love. Daring greatly, achieving great things, some part of you thought were impossible.
The beauty of being human is this: we get through things.
We adapt. We grow. We thrive.
If we choose to.
This isn’t about willpower. It’s about learning how to have better conversations inside your own head.
And that’s where Scott’s book is a great place to start.
Pick it up - join my reading.