Happiness = Reality – Expectations.
I love this formula because it describes exactly how the brain generates our emotional states. And those states shape what we do with our days. Whether we try again or decide to quit it for good.
I tried baking healthy cupcakes last weekend.
They didn't work. And that's ok. It was my first time.
My mindset was: I'll bake a few test batches to get it right. I'm trying again this weekend. Equipped with experience.
Expecting great things from yourself matters. You need that belief to reach for the edges of your potential. To try baking that cake.
But high expectations have a dark side when they’re not balanced with the simple truth: on the way to anything challenging, you will experience setbacks.
Lots of them. And that’s not failure. That’s the test batch.
We forget that too easily.
When we start a diet or decide to change our lifestyle, we begin because we believe we can do it. But we rarely plan for the inevitable slip-ups. And so when they happen, we take them as signs we should quit.
When we launch a business or give birth to an idea, we begin because we believe we can do it. But we forget to mentally prepare for all the things that will NOT work. Not because we’re incapable, but because that’s how creation works. And so we quit too early, when pivoting, trying again better - would’ve been smarter.
When we try writing, podcasting, running, coding, baking, anything, we start because we believe we can. But then it’s not perfect, and instead of adjusting expectations, designing a better experiment like a scientist, we conclude it’s not for us. Or not possible.
But what if you just expected perfection too soon?
PREPARE TO FAIL. BETTER.
When you know things won’t be perfect and many moves won’t work at first, something powerful happens:
You’re less emotionally thrown off.
You start asking premortem questions like:
What are all the things that could go wrong? And how can I reduce the damage or likelihood of this happening before?
With that approach, failures still happen but they’re smaller, lighter, and easier to bounce back from. And you bounce because you expected it, and you already know what to try next.
Like with my cupcakes, I didn't make a whole bunch of cupcakes, just 5. And I have a whole bunch of material to try again, again, and again. Until it gets good.
So over to you, dear reader,
For the goal you’re working toward…
Have you prepared yourself to fail gracefully, recover faster, and try again smarter?
