“Well, looking back, I can definitely say my confidence at work has gone way up.”
That’s what a client said to me the other day.
I paused and asked, “What do you think contributed to that?”
She didn’t even need a moment.
“Doing the work. Taking action. Getting more experience.”
And then she added something important,
“You know, Angela, it’s more and more clear to me that sitting around thinking about my confidence doesn’t actually help. Or thinking about the project I need to do. What helps is doing it.”
Boom. There it was.
The thing we all kind of know but still miss somehow.
We act like confidence is what you are supposed to just have, but really - it’s a byproduct.
Confidence is not what you need before the action.
It’s what you get from taking it.
I nodded and said,
“And you’re also someone who’s great at that - jumping in and figuring it out as you go, aren’t you?”
“Yeah… most of the time,” she laughed.
So I told her what I tell myself, and what I want to tell you, too:
“Next time you’re doubting yourself, remember - your confidence comes from action. And you’ve got plenty of evidence that every time you take action, you figure it out.”
We all go looking for this secret formula to become confident. To take the leap, to take the next step.
Some magic mindset shift, mindset unlock, some guru to tell us a secret.
But what if you’ve had the formula this whole time?
The magic bullet is your willingness to take action - BEFORE you feel ready.
If you’ve done something enough times, you know this already.
At some point, you didn’t feel confident doing the things you now do without blinking.
Writing emails. Hosting meetings. Speaking up in a room full of execs.
You used to overthink.
Now it’s just Tuesday.
What changed?
You did it. Repeatedly. Until it wasn’t scary anymore.
And yet people ask:
“But how do others look so confident doing something for the first time?”
The answer is also very simple.
I feel the most confident doing something new - when I’ve prepared.
When I take on a coaching session with a brand-new client...
When I say yes to a project I’ve never done before…
When I stand in front of a room to deliver a talk for the first time…
It’s never blind confidence.
It’s earned confidence.
Earned through prep. Through planning. Through learning my material.
The more I prep, the more the more confident I get.
I bet you knew this already.
And I bet if you look back, you’ve experienced the same.
When you walked into that room ready.
When you rehearsed your talking points.
When you knew your stuff.
That’s not fake-it-till-you-make-it. That’s do-the-work-till-it-shows.
So here’s your real confidence pill.
Take action. Get experience. Prepare.
That’s it.
We don’t need to wait until we feel confident to begin.
We build confidence WHEN we begin.
