Our behaviors are what transform us - NOT our thinking.
Actions speak louder than words.
And as the saying goes, hell is paved with good intentions.
This month’s theme in my coaching sessions is Blindspotting (the new episode drops today on Change Wired with an expert guest on the subject).
One of my clients, a leader recently said,
“What surprised me in my assessment was that I wasn’t higher on Empathy. I do care about people a lot and try to match what I do with where they are.”
I replied,
“It might be something you pay attention to, but not something you lead with. When you speak up, do you usually share your ideas first, or do you ask what others think?”
He paused,
“I usually express my ideas, and then I notice how people react, ask for their input. It's just often I'm asked to say what my take is”
“Try reversing it,” I suggested. “When people come to you for advice, start by asking what they’re thinking, what their solutions might be. See how the dynamic changes.”
You can’t develop future leaders unless you first spend time listening to them. And many leaders, who rose by speaking first never make the shift to listening first.
One tiny behavior, asking others to share their truth before you share yours, can ripple across entire organization. It grows empathy. It creates culture of listening first - not speaking up first. It grows trust. And it grows the next generation of leaders.
Thoughts don’t do that. Actions do.
Imagine if you told your kids how to do everything never giving them a chance to develop their own critical thinking, never having to try things to figure them out - that's how you get a whole generation waiting for answers VS getting out there and figuring out solutions.
Yes, change begins with awareness.
But it happens only through action. That’s what behavioral science helps us design for - behaviors, actions... change.
Over to you, dear leader:
What character or leadership quality do you want to grow this September? And what one small action will you commit to build it?
As Marshall Goldsmith says, “What got you here won’t get you there.”
I’d add: Your next level of leadership starts with changing what you DO now.
