If you want to be a great coach there’s a golden rule you must never break. If you want people to change, not just comply. Grow for a decade, not perform for a day.
The golden rule of a great coach: never tell people what to do.
Leaders forget this all the time. They think they need to know everything and prescribe everything. And people, for the most part, think they need that too.
But nobody changes because they were told what to do. Not even your kid.
We change because someone asked us a question that made us see ourselves differently. Notice different things. Change our understanding.
What do you think you need to get better at?
What do you need to know? Or see? Or learn?
What support would actually help you?
On the days when you do it well, even once, what made it possible?
On the days when you don’t, what got in the way?
When do you feel great at work? What creates your best days?
How do they happen?
Moving forward, how can you set yourself up for success?
What needs to be in place for you?
It seems like you find this challenging, what helped you overcome similar challenges in the past?
What did you do then?
Questions unlock people. Directives shut them down.
The right question at the right time is the key that opens the door to change🔑
When I’m unsettled or stressed, I don’t lecture myself (anymore).
I ask:
What exactly is making you feel this way?
What would make you feel differently?
What’s one thing you can do now to move in that direction?
Whether you’re coaching yourself, your clients, or shaping the culture of an entire organization, how can you start asking more questions instead of giving out directives?
