Daily Thought for Change

What’s in It for Me? The Psychology Behind Showing Up

If I ask you to do something, the first question your brain fires back is: Why?

Almost immediately after, it does a quick calculation,
“What’s in it for me?”
And if the answer feels worth it, if the incentive matches your goals, values, beliefs - you take action.
That’s just how human psychology works.

It works so reliably that one of the world’s top gamification-for-business companies used it to help CAIXA Bank surpass their annual goal of reaching 9 billion Brazilian reais in revenue, months ahead of schedule!

“The core strategy was to connect business objectives with the emotional motivations of each employee. The gamification was designed to transform the act of meeting goals into an enjoyable experience, where each goal achieved resulted in a positive interaction with the implemented engagement techniques. These techniques served as psychological rewards, encouraging employees to repeat desirable behaviors and creating continuous cycles of engagement. In this way, the simple act of achieving goals became something employees genuinely wanted to do, significantly increasing their involvement and enthusiasm across the board.”
— Ricardo Lopes Costa, The Fantastic Engagement Factory

If it worked for a company with 83,000 employees, it will work for you.

Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, whatever hard goal you’ve set, you need more than willpower.
You need a reason to care. You need your WHY, as Simon Sinek would say.
You need to turn the journey into something that feels epic.
Something meaningful.

At the very least, you need a sharp answer to this,
What’s the mission? Why does this matter to me?

The people who stay the course, who show up with energy, who keep going even when it’s hard?
They’re not just disciplined.
They’ve figured out their hero’s journey. They know what they're fighting for.
They’ve made their mission matter.

No motivation = no fire = no follow-through.

So if you're leading a team, or yourself, remember this,
Before tactics, before strategy, before KPIs...
You’re working with humans.
And humans need their why.

Behavior change starts there.

Do you know what motivates you?
Do your people know what motivates them?

I’m reading this book on gamification in the workplace and realizing I have work to do, not in what I know, but in how I communicate the value I bring to my clients.

I talk to a lot of leaders.

They want to break silos. Get information flowing. Boost collaboration across levels and departments. They want teams that move fast, innovate often, and work efficiently together.

Here's what I'm realizing,
Silos aren’t just about trust or people's resistance - they’re linguistics.

We’re often not even speaking the same language.

“Our Talent Development Strategy uses gamification to transform the way employees learn and develop.”
— HR

“Our Digital Adoption Solution streamlines integration and enhances user engagement with systems.”
— Tech

“Our Interactive Campaigns use gamification to create memorable customer experiences and strengthen brand loyalty.”
— Marketing

~ Lopes Costa, Ricardo. The Fantastic Engagement Factory

Same service. Same goal. Three departments. Three entirely different languages.

When I coach clients on nutrition, I sometimes slip into my what they call "techno bubble" and start talking about the thermic effect of food, for example, how protein burns more energy to digest than fat or carbs.

But what they actually need to hear,
Some foods keep you fuller longer and make it easier to lose or maintain weight.

Same thing. Different people. Different language.

This week, I’m asking myself, and I’m asking you too, dear reader,

Are you speaking in the language of the person you’re trying to persuade?
Because if you’re not, it doesn’t matter how smart, strategic, or experienced you are. You’ll miss them before getting started.

PS We are lucky to have chatGPT and other tools to help with translation.

The road of too many yesses

Every skill, every goal, every change you want to make costs time, attention, effort.

The more goals you stack up, the less each one gets. Less energy. Less mindspace. Less work.

The more you try to change at once, the lower your odds of changing anything at all!

It's like building your bicep, if you do whole body workouts each day, don't expect any one muscle stand out.

Your energy is limited. Your attention is finite. Your willpower, your capacity to keep showing up when things get hard, runs out fast when spread across too many targets.

That’s why the world’s greatest aren’t great at everything.

They’re great at one thing.

Most iconic entrepreneurs, elite athletes, prolific thinkers, they go deep on one thing. They build one thing that matters. They focus, obsess, repeat.

How many people you admire are known for multiple things?

“When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.” — Lolly Daskal

A client told me recently, “I just feel overwhelmed. There’s so much to track.”

That was my cue to help him choose one thing to nail. Not everything. Not most things. Just one. Even though it feels like you are already behind and you got to do it all.

When everything feels important, we often default to doing it all, and end up doing none of it well, which means we don't really create any big difference, and meaningful change, we just keep doing shallow work, which gets lost as more noise.

The research backs it up,

People working on multiple goals are less committed and far less likely to succeed than those focusing on just one.

If you really care about something, you can’t afford to care about everything else.

Every extra yes chips away at what matters most.

Say yes too often, and you end up nowhere. Not here. Not there. Not excellent. Not fulfilled. Not changed. Not have grown.

Just stuck in the land of average.

What's your ONE thing?

And if you failed to succeed taking all of it on - try taking one thing on this week. I can guarantee you'll succeed.

Inch by Inch

Getting a personal development prompt from ChatGPT feels oddly cosmic. Like the Universe whispering something meant just for you.

Here's what I got today,
“Stretch into courage - even if only an inch. It changes everything.”

It took a year or so of daily stretching. Nothing extreme. I did it. I never lost it ever since.
On any given day you wouldn’t say there was a lot of progress done.
When we look at our heroes, we often think that somehow they magically leaped to where they are today.
Inch by inch.

“Oh, I love this idea, set a calendar meeting with myself” - from chats with clients.

We organize our calendars so carefully to make sure we maximize the value of our time.
We consciously dedicate hours to working on our expertise, our career, our relationships, to make sure we are good, successful, caring humans.
When was the last time you set a date with yourself?

Not to catch up on admin or squeeze in a quick podcast, but to actually sit with your thoughts. Reflect. Reconnect. Listen. Adjust.

Your self-development outside your job won’t happen by accident. Just like career growth won’t happen without deliberate effort, neither will becoming wiser, healthier, stronger, more grounded.

We spend decades learning about the world through school.

We spend almost no time learning about ourselves.

And then we wonder why we feel stuck. Why we’ve been repeating the same patterns. Why clarity, confidence, and growth feel out of reach.

Your health, your values, your emotional depth, just like your strategy or skill set, it requires time, energy, and attention, deliberate work.

Many of my clients tell me this is one of the biggest shifts they make starting coaching - putting themselves on the calendar. Every week. No matter what. A sacred appointment to focus only on their own growth, on becoming the person capable of creating the life they want.

No email. No performance goals. Just space to think, feel, and grow.

So... when is your meeting with self?

P.S. Did you know one of the top 3 ChatGPT use cases is figuring out, “What’s my purpose?”
Funny how we keep asking AI who we are, when all it might take is a recurring hour with the only one who truly knows you.

What is it all for?
What does success look like?
How would you know you’ve arrived?

These are the questions I ask myself when I hit a wall - when the thing I thought would work... doesn’t.

The other day at a book launch, someone brought up a big idea: Are books becoming a thing of the past?

I’ve been thinking about that since.

And here’s what I keep coming back to.

ChatGPT can give you answers.
But books? Books shape the way you think - and that changes your questions, your prompts.

Books build the frame of reference. They stretch your mind until it can hold better questions. That’s where real transformation begins not in a perfect answer, but in a deeper question.

That’s why I keep reading.
That’s why I keep asking.
That’s why I keep going.

Dear future self, I’d like to see you more often.

Yesterday, I went to a book launch in Cape Town.

Expansive: A Guide to Thinking Bigger, Living Fuller, and Thriving in a Limitless World. One of the co-authors, John Sanei, closed the event by talking about something I think about often - our future selves.

Not the past version of us, not the autopilot we’ve been running. But the version we’re becoming. The one that holds our potential, not our patterns.

Research says around 75% of our thoughts today are the same as yesterday’s.

Think about that. If our thoughts shape our emotions, our emotions shape our choices, and our choices shape our lives - then most of us are reliving the past. Daily.

That’s not growth. That’s stagnation.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

I read another book a while back called Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today.

It talks about how people who actively connect with their future selves, build an actual relationship, tend to make better long-term decisions.

They eat better. Spend better. Lead better. Are more satisfied with their life's journey. They feel more aligned. More on track.

So what does it look like to do that? How do we spend more time with the version of ourselves we want to become? How do we build that relationship with our future selves?

Here are a few practices that help:

• Write letters to and from your future self. Ask her for advice. Imagine what she’d say about your current path. Use chatGPT to help you out if you are stuck getting your imagination juices flowing.

• Use your future self as a decision filter. I do this every day. "How would my future self respond here? What would she eat for dinner? Would she say yes to this meeting? What would her calendar look like?"

• Try guided future-self meditations. This one’s new in my toolbox, and I love it. John Sanei created one called The Bridge. It's about feeling, seeing, and embodying your future self today. You can try it here.

“Your future is not a place you go. It’s something you bring into the present.” – John Sanei

So here’s my invitation, dear self-leader,

Spend more time with your future self. Let her guide you. Let her interrupt the old loops. Let her help you grow into someone you’d be proud to meet.

Because if you don’t, you’ll just keep recycling yesterday.

And you, my friend, are not your past.

Perspective

"The human brain hates unplanned change", I shared with a friend.
"And you, someone who leads change, you should know this better than anyone", he replied ;)

No matter how much you know about setbacks, failure, change - it still stings, you just learn to deal with it more productively.

I had a trip planned.
It fell through. Meetings were cancelled. Things didn’t go as expected.

It didn’t feel good.
It felt like a waste - of energy, time, money and opportunity. I felt stupid for not looking into more details.
I’d made space for it. Prepared for it. Now I had to rework everything.

You know that feeling?

Even when you understand that plans are just educated guesses.
Even when you know some detours are for your own good, that the Universe might be nudging you somewhere better - it still doesn’t feel great.

That’s the human brain.
It doesn’t like disruption, change, even when disruption is for growth... later. Like when you have to lose before you get good enough to win.

Change is uncomfortable - especially when it feels like it's done to you, like you didn't agree to it, you were not invited to the decision process.
And that’s why it’s important, as a leader, (or leading yourself) to experience it now and then.
It builds empathy, it build understanding.
It reminds you why people resist the changes you introduce. Whether that's coaching 1 person or changing entire organization.

Here’s what I do when things don’t go according to plan:

• I delay big decisions. I sleep on it. A good night’s rest puts distance between me and the event. Perspective comes after pause. The brain actually process events during sleep to help you make better decisions. Emotions go down. You can see things clearly.

• I reflect, What can I learn from this? Was there something I missed? What assumption or process failed me? What new thinking system or habit could prevent this in the future?

• I redirect, What outcome do I want now? What’s in my control? Then I act. Decisively. Simply.

And I always communicate.
To myself.
To others involved.

What’s happening. Why it’s happening.
What's the new plan? Towards what future?

Unplanned change won’t feel good. That’s normal.
But a little time, some sleep, good decision-making process and a lot of clarity will get you back on track, faster, stronger, and wiser.

What are you preparing for?

This afternoon, I’m flying 10 hours to Dubai.
And I’m ready - like really ready.

Workout done.
Slept 8 hours.
Had a nutrient-dense breakfast with my supplements.
Packed electrolytes, dried meat, walnuts, an apple, and an orange.
Booked an aisle seat so I can walk often during the flight.

Why?
Because I prepare to stay healthy, no matter what the day throws at me.

And it got me thinking,

When you’ve got a big meeting, an interview, a talk, or just a full day of work, are you prepping for luck to save you?
Or are you prepping so well that luck becomes irrelevant?

Life is full of transitions.
I’m in the middle of one.
You probably are too. (Aren't we all, a friend told me?)

Here’s something I’ve learned,

Change is unpredictable indeed.
But if you think through the whole scenario as detailed as possible, if you prepare to deliver your best, even in the worst conditions, the future tends to cooperate, wouldn't you say?

So here’s my reminder (to me, and maybe to you),

Do the prep like you mean it. Then get ready to be surprised by how well things can go.

Sunday reflection.
It's become a habit - wake up, drink water, brush teeth, meditate, journal.

2 questions I find especially useful,
What worked? And what made it possible?

Last week, I made a couple of sales after a dry spell. Why?

I had a ticket booked. I was moving countries. I needed it to work.

So I showed up differently.

I focused on the value people needed. I stayed open to how they wanted it delivered. I acted without delay.

Looking back, every time something works, it’s those three things:

• clarity of value

• flexibility in delivery (listening)

• speed in execution

The second question.

What didn’t work? What got in the way?

I didn’t land a couple of part-time roles I applied for.
Why?

Because I wasn’t clear.
I applied out of fear and pressure, not purpose. I just did it to do it.
I didn’t lean into what they needed.
I didn’t act like I truly wanted it.

I didn’t ask the most important question:
What does success look like here, and how do I meet success criteria?

I was vague. Scattered. Unconvincing. Unfocused. I'd be surprised if they hired me!

Looking back, the pattern is always the same.
Regret usually follows half-hearted effort.
Success follows precision and presence.

The takeaway,

People get what they want when they give a damn.

When they prepare.
When they get specific.
When they care - about the outcome, about others, about doing it right.

So here’s the shift I’m making, perhaps it's useful to you too.

Slow down.
Think deeply about what you want.
Get clear on what success looks like.
Act like you mean winning. Define success criteria as objectively as you can. Overdeliver.
Focus on the value you bring, not the results YOU get.

No rushing.

Fast leads to wasted time and average outcomes.
Great things take time. Take it.