Daily Thought for Change

Everyone has the same amount of time in the 24-hour day.
But successful people (success here is defined as living the life you want) distribute it differently.

Every day is your investment in the future that’s coming. Every minute is a vote for the life you want.

A very useful question I often use with clients,
How would you need to invest your time this week to move closer to your desired future state?

At the end of the day, nothing is ever guaranteed - a specific number on the scale, number of clients, amount of healthy days you’ll have, or how the market will uptake your idea/product - none of that is in your direct control.

But taking more action leading to this outcome dramatically increases the chance that you move closer.

What's not in your control:

• You can’t control the exact number on the scale by January.
  

• You can’t control how many clients sign up this month.
  

• You can’t control whether the market loves your idea.
  

What is in your control?

• Whether you stay inside your calorie budget today.

• Whether you exercise three times this week.

• Whether you run that pilot, listen to the customer, and adjust often.

Take those actions and your chances of success multiply. Ignore them, and you’ll be hoping for luck.

Our human tendency is to focus on the extremes - Did I fail? Did I succeed?
A much more useful model for living the life on your terms leans into “better” and “What step today can get me closer?”

PS "Tiny Experiments" model and PACTs instead of SMART goals are all about putting more ideas like this into practice. Ex-Google and now neuroscience researcher, Anne-Laure Le Cunff, talks about that on my Change Wired podcast.

I’ve been coaching for 18 years.

And I can say without a doubt, coaching through change to results is 10% insight and 90% of figuring out how to apply that in people's life’s context, consistently changing their behavior.

When I first started, I thought because I “knew so much,” I could change the world. 

And then I started working with people and very clearly realized,

“If knowledge was the answer - we’d all be billionaires with six-pack abs”

When I read books about behavior change, written by behavioral scientists, they often warn you, that no matter what, an off-the-shelf solution, aka theory, needs to be rigorously tested before scaling to have a chance to work.

Testing. Testing. Testing.

And THAT is the work.

As a coach, you learn quickly that helping a client reach a complex goal requires a few things:

1. A wide toolbox of strategies you can try.
2. The humility to know most attempts might flop - so each step is more like a pilot experiment than a foolproof plan.
3. Flexibility, because what worked yesterday might stop working tomorrow - people change, things change, life changes.
4. Anchoring your tools more in fundamental truths about how the brain works. (For example: the brain craves saving energy. That’s why making new habits easier, through smart context design, gives them a better chance to stick.)
5. e) And most importantly: progress. According to research in The Progress Principle, analyzing over 12,000 workplace journals, the single most reliable motivator is seeing movement toward something meaningful. Our brains need to know the effort isn’t wasted.

I feel lucky to have come into applied behavioral science from coaching. Whether you’re changing the life of one person, or shifting an entire company, you’re still working with the same brain. 

As Steven Kotler says - biology scales, personality doesn't.

So I’ll leave you with this, dear reader,

If you’re trying to change what people do, are you designing your change to be brain-friendly?

We admire conviction.

People who stand firm bring a sense of calm and certainty - it feels safe to be around them. We like that in leaders. Perhaps now, leading with conviction that we will figure it out can work for us too?

Clinging to your beliefs no matter what changes around you?

That’s not strength. That’s rigidity. And rigidity burns more than it builds.

Why did Homo sapiens survive while other species vanished?
Adaptability.

We adjusted to the world as it was, not as we wished it to be. We bent instead of breaking. That’s what made us the dominant species on the entire planet Earth.

And now, as we walk through rapid transitions, AI reshaping industries, careers transforming overnight, identities shifting, maybe it’s time to remember that skill?

What if there is no “normal” coming?
What if fog is here to stay?

We need a different system. We need to remember the time when we didn't know what the world was.

The only way through fog is one step forward at a time.

I loved my conversation on this week’s Change Wired podcast with Dr. Anne-Laure Le Cunff. She introduced me to the idea of replacing rigid planning and goal-setting with low-risk, tiny experiments - small moves that reveal the path as you walk it.

I use this with my clients, and in my own life a lot now. It feels like everyone's transitioning. In life, with others, at work, in business.

Each week, we set an experiment. Sometimes it’s a win: “Yes, let’s double down on this.” Sometimes it’s a clear no: “That didn’t work. Time to pivot.” Either way, we’re learning. And the map keeps unfolding.

When I began my own transition, I stopped obsessing over income targets and five-year plans. Instead, I asked:

• What do I want more of?

• What feels missing?

The answers were simple:
Work on meaningful problems in the world with smart, dedicated people.
Design systems for human thriving at scale with behavioral science, system thinking and human-centered change methodology.
Have meaningful conversations with people every day to learn, to empower, to inspire, to enjoy life.
Travel the world for work that matters, to learn more about the world, people and my place in it. Experience awe.
Earn enough to never think about money and help the people I care about.

I chose to stay present, using what I had, being who I am, present to where I am, building as I went. No fixed route. No rigid plan. Just experiments, gratitude, and forward steps.

I’ve never felt happier, more fulfilled, or more energized. Things didn't change - I did.
And the results are coming faster than ever.

If you’re standing in the fog right now, maybe the way forward isn’t a grand plan. Maybe it’s one tiny experiment?

PS: Our conversation with Dr. Anne-Laure Le Cunff is live today on the 🎧 Change Wired podcast. She shares how she pivoted from Google to neuroscience researcher to founder of Ness Labs with thousands of subscribers - without a clear plan, experimenting her way forward, one tiny test at a time. Tune in. Let's step into the fog together.

Why most people never take advantage of better. And lose time, opportunity, and success along the way.

Yesterday I tried an AI-powered tool to generate video clips from my podcast recording.

It felt like winning the lottery🤑
In a few minutes, I had 30 polished clips, ready to share. And they were GOOOD!

I posted one on Instagram, one on LinkedIn - done. A task that usually takes hours (in my case forever) - it was finished in less than 10 minutes!

But here’s the more interesting part.

I almost didn’t try it.

There was so much resistance in me.
Because it was new. Because most AI tools are overhyped and don't work as promised. Because I didn’t want to waste my weekend on something that might flop.

The brain hates waste. And you are already too busy to play.

That’s when I finally understood: this is why innovation in the workplace (or in life) is so damn hard for people (unless designed properly).

Even early adopters hate wasting time. Even innovators don’t want to break a working process. And when results are due on Monday, who wants to take a risk that might fail?!

Innovation is never efficient.
It’s not business as usual. It doesn’t fit neatly into your schedule. You can't control it. And that's why it's so scary. The first version rarely works the way you want. And you don't really know which version will.

Which is why you can’t treat innovation like regular work, or it will never happen.

What works instead?

Look at Google.

Know Gmail?

It was produced by people in their "tinkering time" - scheduled percentage of time at Google when people can work on whatever they want.

Scheduling time to tinker.

Low-stakes, no deadline. A couple of hours on the weekend. An evening here and there.

That’s how I approach it now as well.

I have workshops coming up, and I want them to be extraordinary. I want to bring somethng novel to blow people's minds while delivering value they came for and more.

And the way to prepare for that isn’t by gambling everything a week before. It’s by carving out small spaces to test, to play, to figure out what might not work.

Over to you dear reader,
Where in your life are you keeping yourself stuck because you never give yourself “tinkering time”?

Innovation isn’t just for companies. It’s for anyone who wants to stay relevant, keep growing, and not watch the world pass them by.

“Predictably Irrational.” That’s not just the title of Dan Ariely’s book I just finished.

That’s us.

We like to think of ourselves as rational decision-makers. But when tested "in the wild", real life, our brains reveal something different.

Consistently so.

Take aspirin.

It shouldn't matter, what it costs for how well it does its job. And yet, in a human, the more expensive it is, the more effective people report it to be. The placebo of cost actually makes it work better.

Or wine and coffee.

It shouldn’t matter what glass or cup they’re served in. And yet, in humans, we rate CONSISTENTLY the same drink higher if it comes in a fancier package.

Ownership is another trick your mind plays on you.

It shouldn't matter whether something is ours or not for how much we value a thing. And yet in humans, even simply imagining we own it, like when you put an item in your online shopping cart, or bid on something on Ebay, suddenly makes it feel like “the best” option, even if a cheaper, better version shows up later.

So what do we do with this?

We could get frustrated with our nature. We could try to outsmart ourselves, change ourselves, becoming ever more “rational.”
Or, we could work WITH it.

That means:

• Stop obsessing over the "perfect choice" - restaurant, a phone, a movie. Give yourself an hour, decide, and move on. Your brain will make sure you'll love what you pick anyway.

• Be okay when things don’t go your way. Our minds are remarkably good at reframing disappointment into satisfaction and enjoying the alternative path we "had to take" as the best one in the end.

• AND build systems to help future you act rationally without thinking. For example:
  • Ask ChatGPT to do your shopping based on your rules - before looking into any of the options yourself.
  • Buy only on certain days, at certain times, so you don’t fall into the “I need this now” trap, which disappears remarkably fast, when you give it some time. Let only the lasting desires end up in your life.

There's also a research-proven formula for happiness:

Happiness = Reality - Expectations.

And the best part? YOU have total control of your expectations. BECAUSE of your irrational self.

Over to you dear reader,
What systems do you use to BENEFIT from your irrationality, so it becomes an advantage, not a regret?

This was a major shift for me when I visited home, Russia, this year.

“So when did the shift happen for you? That ability to believe it’ll all work out and just let go? When was that realization?”, Sean asked.

“It wasn’t a realization,” I told him. “It was an experiment I set up.”

Let me explain.

When I landed back in Russia, I knew things might get complicated. I don’t live there anymore, barely spend time, no longer a resident but I still had to pay certain dues and taxes. On top of that, my passport was expiring. And then I found out I couldn’t leave the country until I settled it all.

It felt heavy. Too heavy.

One morning, I woke up in cold sweat: Was this the biggest mistake of my life? Coming back here instead of staying safe in Cape Town?

But then I decided to try something different. Instead of panicking, I decided to set up an experiment.

I told myself, "I’ll trust that it’ll work out if I focus on one step at a time. One problem at a time. By the end of the summer, I’ll have it figured out. And on Friday morning, I’ll be climbing Lion’s Head again.

One step at a time.

"There was another thing, I told Sean, I also decided, that cold-sweat morning would be when I proved to myself that when you make a firm decision, when you commit to solving one thing at a time, and let go of how exactly it’s going to unfold… the Universe tends to meet you halfway."

That’s what I did. And that’s why, Sean, we are having this conversation on our way down Lion’s Head."

The experiment worked. Once again. Once I decided where to go, and just went for it.

I became a firm believer: this is how life works.

"So, it wasn't the realization, it was the experiment that I ran to confirm what I already suspected worked"

We have a vision, a North Star. But we don’t get to see the whole map. No matter how many books we read, how many stories of others we hear, or how many business "hacks" we know. Life is about discovering the map as we walk it, seeing new mountains rise (where we thought valleys would be), learning to climb them, and being present enough to enjoy the path as it unfolds.

Trusting THIS is the way, and that the Universe knows its sh*t better.

The same goes for my leadership coaching.

I don’t hand my clients answers. I don't expect them to just trust me. Who am I? They’re successful leaders with decades of wisdom already.  What I do is bring tools, methods of all the coaching schools and thought leaders that developed the field long before I came along, and "a mirror". We set up experiments. Once they see what works in their own lives, the trust doesn’t come from me - it comes from their own evidence.

You trust to try. Then when you see it - you know it.

That’s what growth looks like.

The people who grow the most aren’t the ones with the strongest beliefs, or the most books read. They’re the ones who treat life like scientists: get an insight, test, observe, apply, adjust.

And they let go more often. Because you never have the full map. And sometimes where you expect a smooth walk, you’ll find a mountain waiting for you.

So, over to you dear read,

Stop waiting for clarity. Stop overthinking. Run one experiment this week.
Because the only way to find your map… is to walk it. What's one experiment you'll run this week to clear the map?

PS This week on Change Wired podcast we'll have someone from Google talking about life as a series of tests - a map to unfold, not a GPS to navigate what's known.

Present bias.
Psychologists call it our tendency to overvalue what feels good right now and discount what’s better later. It’s why we grab the cookie, skip the workout, spend the cash. Future us gets sidelined for present comfort.

Last night.

It was the end of a long day. I’d given it all, and then, of course, life threw in a few “bonus challenges.” By the time evening came, a whole bar of dark chocolate and a bag of cashews felt like exactly what I needed and surely deserved.

But then I started thinking about my future self who'll wake up tomorrow to the results of my actions today.

In coaching, we call it, "compassion for your future self"

Over the past couple of years, I’ve trained myself to pause and run the 10/10/10 decision-making test:

• How will I feel in 10 hours?

• How will I feel in 10 days?

• How will I feel in 10 months about this decision?

In 10 hours, I’d be sluggish. Mornings are when my best work happens, when creativity kicks in, when I can untangle client problems. A late-night calorie bomb would steal that. And every day counts.

In 10 days, I’d want to look back proud, knowing I made choices that matched my goals. “One night won’t change anything” is the classic lie that builds every long-term regret.

In 10 months, I want to be in the best shape of my life, fitness-wise. Sleep quality matters. A chocolate-and-nuts feast doesn’t help.

And also, I’d promised a friend I’d show up for their workout. That’s the kind of person I want to be: someone who means their commitments and makes less of them (ps 630 reps done and dusted).

So instead, I chose a hot cup of light coconut milk with cinnamon and a nice hot shower. Very nourishing. Huberman would approve. And honestly, pretty enjoyable too. (ps sleep was tremendous)

That whole inner debate? It happened in less than 2 minutes.
But those minutes are where growth happens.

These are the kind of moments we need to:

1. Recognize and become aware of triggers and how they happen

2. Figure out a plan of action and why it matters well in advance, not in hot decision moments

3. Master them with repetition to reinvent and grow ourselves, instead of reliving our past patterns over and over and over again... hoping that next time we for sure will do much better.

The trick isn’t to eliminate present bias - you can’t. It’s hardwired. The trick is to train yourself, to build new habits to deal with it better. 

Because if you keep replaying the same old patterns, you’ll keep replaying the same old regrets, and your future will be just like the past.

You don't decide your future. You develop habits, and they decide how your future will be.

Over to you, dear reader,
What’s one pattern you keep repeating, even though you wish you’d outgrown it by now? And what could you put in place to remind yourself that future-you deserves a seat at the table too?

Are PEOPLE really ever the problem?

We tend to think so. There’s even a scientific name for it: The Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE). It’s the tendency to overemphasize people factors and underestimate situational ones when explaining behavior.

If someone cuts you off in traffic, you label them rude. Rarely do we pause to imagine they’re rushing to the hospital, or just something very important to them. And yet, when WE make a mistake, we point to circumstances, not character.

I’ve just recorded new podcast episodes with applied behavioral scientists who’ve seen this play out in business again and again. Scott Young, for example, spent decades running a marketing agency to provide customer insights before turning to behavioral science to favorably shape those insights instead.

“One of the things I learned,” Scott told me, “is that internal change inside organizations - engagement, attrition, compliance, psychological safety - depends a lot more on good processes and environments than on education, knowledge, mindsets or how people are.”

I’m guilty of that too, of trying to “fix” people, when the real leverage is in fixing the system. (In my coaching I've transitioned but personally still struggle to do the same for myself)

And that's what Scott hopes to improve with his work with organizations - helping them see the system flaws instead of flawed people,

1. Performance Reviews

• Fallacy: “She’s disorganized and unreliable. She's always behind deadlines.”

• Reality: She’s carrying 3 jobs because of understaffing, deadlines are unrealistic, and approvals get bottlenecked.

• Flip: Instead of “What’s wrong with her?”, ask “What’s getting in the way of her success?”

2. Employee Engagement

• Fallacy: “Our employees don’t care.”

• Reality: There’s no psychological safety, goals aren’t tied to purpose, and middle managers are too burned out to support anyone.

• Flip: Engagement isn’t about “bad people.” It’s about whether the environment supports meaning, autonomy, and recognition.

3. Change & Transformation

• Fallacy: “They’re stuck in their ways.”

• Reality: Training was rushed, the system is buggy, and frontline staff were never consulted, so the change feels like punishment.

• Flip: Resistance is a signal of poor design, not stubborn employees.

Leadership takeaway:
When you catch yourself labeling behavior as a “personal flaw,” pause and ask:

“If I dropped a high-performer into this system, would they likely struggle too?”

That single question shifts the lens from blame → system design.

Over to you, dear reader,

Today, when you see someone’s behavior (or your own) that frustrates you, stop trying to fix the person. Instead ask,

What process, environment, or incentive could I redesign to make the right behavior easier without changing the person at all?

What popular literature got wrong about motivation

- OK. Sounds like we have our plan for the week. What do you think might get in the way of following through with the actions we agreed on?

- Myself. Not doing it. Losing motivation when things get challenging or uncomfortable.

I pulled out one of my favorite coaching questions from my Precision Nutrition days:

- It sounds like you already know what the key issues are. Knowing this, if you were your own coach what would you recommend?

She paused.

- You know, when I needed to get my income up because there was no one else to rely on, and I had to make sure we had rent, food, and the kids were taken care of… I cried in the toilet sometimes. But I still did it. I never stopped. And it worked.

- It seems like pain back then motivated you quite a lot.

- Yes. But now I don’t have that urgent pain. How do I motivate myself to reach higher? Not just run from pain but to make my dreams real? For the better future for my kids, myself?

I nodded. Yeah. Comfort kills more dreams than challenges ever do.

- Now that we know what’s stopping you, if you were your own coach, how would you fuel your motivation so it lasts this time? You know yourself better than anyone.

She thought for a moment.

- Good question. I think I need reminders. Why it matters. My dreams. The future I want for myself and my kids. And a reminder of what I’ve already accomplished, that I have it in me if I stick with it. Maybe pictures from that vacation I managed to afford through hustling. Yeah, that would help. Let’s try that.

---

Two lessons here:

1. Pain is powerful but temporary.
Motivation psychology shows we’ll work harder (~2.5 more so) to escape discomfort than to reach a reward. Pain drives action, but it stops once the pain is relieved. And it can't be maintained long-term. That’s why urgency can light a fire, but it doesn’t fuel the long climb.

2. Motivation fades unless you feed it daily.
Motivation is like showering, or brushing your teeth. It doesn’t last, but if you keep up the practice, you stay fresh. The most disciplined people don’t have unlimited willpower or motivation, or discipline. They simply build systems, reminders of their dreams, habits that pull them back, people who hold them accountable. They keep it alive!

Motivation isn’t an event. It’s a daily practice. Just like fitness - you don’t get strong once, you keep working out to stay strong for life.

Over to you, dear reader,

How can you keep your own motivation alive daily not just when life hurts but when you have a bright future to build?
And how can you help your people do the same with some daily rituals?

I used to have this strange little habit.
Whenever I was deep in thought, figuring things out, sitting still at my computer, I’d bite or pick my lip. Not a cute nibble, but a cranky, sometimes bleeding lip kind of habit.

I told myself to stop. Many times.

But I didn't.

Until I asked myself, If I were my own client, what would I suggest?
After all, I’ve spent 18 years practicing applied behavior science, coaching people across the world to change what they do to achieve their goals, helping leaders and teams change what their culture so they can change their impact.

What would I advise myself if I were my own coach here?

I’d start simple. Back to basics. Back to science.

Habits always follow a loop: Cue → Action → Reward.

The cue - what "launches an app", aka habit, in your brain. Just like a tap on your phone screen launches a program.
My cue had a couple of things - sitting down to work and starting to think, and feeling my lips were dry.

I couldn't change the sitting down to work part. But I could change something about the feeling and how convenient biting, picking the lip was.

So I would put on lip balm, even better a bright lipstick. Suddenly, biting my lip was messy and uncomfortable. The habit broke INSTANTLY. My lip has stayed intact ever since.

And this isn’t just my solo story. Research backs it.

In the book, Behavioral Science in the Wild, researchers reviewed dozens of real-world food studies. The biggest factor in healthy eating wasn’t knowledge, calorie labels, or “willpower”, your intent to eat healthy. It was convenience (making the better choice easier) and inconvenience (making the worse choice harder).

Think:

• Pineapple already cut up in the fridge vs. a whole one you have to peel.

• Ice cream hidden away in a plain freezer at the store where you have to go to vs. shiny packs at arm’s reach.

Convenience and inconvenience were the clear winners - 3X more powerful than knowledge, awareness, your intention.

We want to believe transformation comes from more willpower or more information, us getting smarter, better at closing the intention-action gap. But the science tells us a different story: your environment is the king.

That’s how I stopped biting my lip not by “trying harder,” but by tweaking the setup.

So over to you, dear reader.
What habit are you trying to stop, or start, or continue?
And is your environment/convenience working for you to make the right choice?