Daily Thought for Change

I was halfway through building the tool (for leaders to succeed with change). My brain was fried.
No one was waiting for it. No one even knew I was making it.
And quitting? Seemed like the easier, more logical option.
Why?
One word: autonomy.

Every time excuses started creeping in, “I’ll finish it later,” “Maybe it’s not that important,” “No one’s waiting for it anyway” - I asked myself, like a reflex:

What do you want from your life, Angela?

What kind of person are you becoming?
What body of work are you building?
What kind of reputation are you cultivating?
What kind of future do you want?
What skills do you want to master?
What projects do you want to work on?

...

I don’t always ask the whole list. But even one of these questions is enough to light a fire.

And then the next thought, How fast do you want it?

More action today means more results later - faster. The only thing I’m delaying when I delay is my own life.

This is what autonomy means to me:
I choose to create a certain life.
I choose to become a certain person.
I choose to build a certain future.
And that choice comes with a cost.
And the time to pay is now.

“In self-determination theory (SDT), autonomy refers to the need to feel like the master of one's own behavior and choices, acting in accordance with one's sense of self. It's about experiencing a sense of volition and psychological freedom in one's actions. This contrasts with feeling controlled by external forces or internal pressures.

SDT posits that humans have three basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. When these needs are met, we experience greater motivation, well-being, and engagement.

Autonomy isn’t a luxury. It’s a need, like food or water. Satisfying it is essential for psychological health and optimal functioning.”

Imagine if your drive to finish your projects was as powerful as your drive to eat when hungry.

When you truly connect your actions to your freedom to create the life you want, you get very close to that.

That’s been my secret motivation button.

Now it’s yours too.
If you choose it.

Where in your life are you procrastinating? And have you asked yourself… is this really a question of effort or of ownership?

Matching motivation to the task at hand

When I need to reach out to a bunch of people - LinkedIn, email, replying to messages - it’s rarely thrilling. So I make myself as comfortable as I can. Sofa. Favorite coffee drink. Music that makes my brain hum.

Sometimes I throw in a little reward: a cappuccino, a short video, a game after. That’s usually enough to get me ticking boxes.

These kinds of tasks don’t demand creativity or deep thought. They just need to get done. Like taxes. Proposals. Forms. Life admin.

But when the task is creative or challenging - designing a new scorecard, writing content, building something new - my motivation comes from progress. From doing it well. From seeing it land. From getting better.

And it turns out: that’s exactly how motivation works.

Welcome to SDT

“Self-Determination Theory (SDT) is a psychology framework that explains human motivation and personality development. It proposes that individuals have innate needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness, and that fulfilling these needs is crucial for intrinsic motivation, well-being, and optimal functioning.”

Not all rewards work the same for all tasks.

In Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Daniel Pink unpacks the science behind this. For creative, mastery-driven work? Don’t dangle a bonus. Don’t promise ice cream. The most effective reward is meaningful feedback, recognition, pride, and a sense of getting better.

But when the task is pure routine? That’s when perks work. That’s when your brain appreciates the "if-this-then-that" deal: Do this, then get a cappuccino.

The key is knowing the nature of your task.

And no matter what it is - boring or brilliant - one thing matters above all: autonomy. Give yourself the freedom to choose how to do the task. That’s what keeps you engaged. That’s what makes you come back.

So, what’s on your calendar this week?

What’s the nature of your tasks and what kind of motivation do they actually need?

PS I often think that most workplaces beat the motivation out of all the smart people by giving more perks for the tasks where recognition works a lot better.

What's the thinking behind it?

The most important question to shape your great life.

Today, I decided to go rollerblading for the first time this year.

My brain had a lot to say about it.

It’s cloudy. What if it rains?
The pavement’s still wet.
What if you fall?

But underneath all the excuses? It was discomfort. Inconvenience. The uncertainty of trying something unfamiliar again.

But I wanted to go! Rollerblading is the most fun I’ve had with any sport. It’s one of the few things that gets my brain into flow almost instantly.

So would I let all these small discomforts win?

That’s not the kind of person I want to feed.
Not the mentality I want to practice.

So I made a simple decision. I went. I sweated. I had a blast.

But the moment that mattered wasn’t the rollerblading.

It was the rebellion.

Do I let my life be ruled by minor inconveniences?
Or by what I actually want to experience and become?

That’s the real choice.

I’m reminded of something Annie Duke, elite poker player and decision-making expert, teaches:
Good decisions can lead to bad outcomes. Bad decisions can sometimes get lucky. But the only way to ensure long-term success is to consistently use sound logic.

You can leave for the airport 3 hours early and still get stuck in traffic and miss your flight.
Or you can cut it razor-close and somehow make it.

But that doesn’t change the fact that preparing early is still the better decision.
And over time, it’ll get you where you want to go on time and with a lot less stress.

You can stumble into a career break without doing the work. But it won't last.
Mastery - practice, discipline, craft - will always be the more predictable, repeatable, sustainable path.

Luck is random.
Good logic lasts.

And that’s why the real win today wasn’t the workout.

It was choosing to show up, for the right reasons.

Not because it was easy.
Because the decision made sense for who I want to become.

P.S. Many leaders mess this up. They reward outcomes not thinking.
That’s how you end up with people cutting corners to meet KPIs.
Instead of building the kind of culture where good decisions compound over time.

What’s a recent decision you made? And if you look under the hood was the logic solid? Are you proud of it?

Life as a quest

I’m nearly done reading a book on life's gamification (how to have extraordinary success while having the fun of your life).

It's about designing your life's journey as the best MORPG game (think World of Warcraft), packed with clever, get-shit-done-and-have-fun strategies by gamification legend Yu-Kai Chou, packed with biographies of life's greatest achievers. But before I dive into that, here’s what’s been on my mind,

What lights you up?

Yesterday, my dad took me birthday shopping. He wanted to buy something nice. Sweet gesture. Ten minutes in, I was already looking for the exit. I just wanted to grab something and be done with it.

That moment reminded me - this isn’t my joy zone. Buying stuff doesn’t light me up. It bores the heck out of me.

I asked myself, What does make me feel lit up and wildly satisfied to be living?

Here’s my list:
Working on meaningful goals hard goals.
Building my vision, brick by brick.
Working out and sculpting a superhero version of me.
Spending time with people I love, especially if we’re exploring, playing, laughing, learning, being incredibly present.
Learning new skills or diving deep into a topic.
Nature. Art. Great conversations with fascinating people about ideas. Dance. Music. Travel.

A lot of things actually.
Just not shopping malls 😊

My dad? I’d much rather go on a walk with him or play table tennis than drift around looking at things we don’t need.

Even watching a movie can be energizing, if it connects to who you are and what you care about. As Yu-Kai says, there’s a huge difference between watching something that fuels your identity and vision… and just zoning out to kill time.

Life's fulfillment, the real kind, doesn’t come from numbing out.
It comes from knowing what makes you come alive, and choosing to spend as much of your time there as possible.

Yes, it takes more effort and design thinking than flipping on Netflix.
But the way your life and you expand is totally unmatched.

So... what’s your weekend plan?
Will it light you up or numb you down?

Yesterday, I attended a Power Pod, a peer business group I’m part of, and it sparked a reminder.
So much of the advice we give is just retelling our own stories.
What worked for me. What I did.

But real problem-solving starts with "their" story.
Their goals.
Their constraints.
And that’s a challenge, because often most of us aren’t fully aware of these either.
We think we are. But we’re often solving for the wrong bottleneck just because it's something we know.

That’s where systems thinking comes in.

If we throw effort at a problem that isn’t the #1 constraint, we’re just wasting energy. The needle doesn’t move. Because we’re not fixing the thing that’s actually slowing us down. And so you work hard and without getting closer to where you actually want to be.

Fast food joint, trying to bring in more people but not being able to serve those people fast - it's marketing designed for disaster.

A person trying to lose weight, looking for the perfect diet, ending up overeating each week - the diet was never the problem. Overeating was.

Here’s a question I loved from the book Reset by Dan Heath, "How to change what's not working", all about leverage points, finding them, solving for using them better to move your vision forward faster,

“If you were allowed to hire one person to help you achieve your goal, what would their role be?”

It’s a beautiful shortcut.
Because it points to, if not to the main problem, then to the best place to search.
Maybe it’s knowledge. A missing skill. Lack of consistency that you need help with.

For me? I’d hire someone to do lead generation.
To book more conversations with potential clients.
Because I know that’s where I get better at figuring out how to apply my skills to solve problems people want to be solved  - learning their pain points, refining offers, and building things that people want.

What about you?
Whether it’s business, health, or relationships...
If you could hire one person right now to help you move faster who would it be, and what would they do? And are you sure?

Because also, constraints only make sense in the context of your ultimate goal. Trying to serve millions of people and working with people 1-1 are 2 different futures entirely. A solution for one won't solve for the other.

Body Mind Work better

I was chatting with one of my brilliant coachees yesterday - he’s building Klorah (freelancer? Check it out).
He told me he still uses the 3-step formula I gave him years ago to kickstart his mornings:

Sun. Movement. Protein.

That’s it. Three switches to flip on a remarkable day.

☀️ Sun charges your circadian rhythm.
🏃 Movement charges your nervous system.
🥚 Protein charges your metabolism.

It fires up your body, which fires up your mind, and that in turn sharpens your ability to work with clarity, creativity, and focus.

All 3 are natural dopamine optimizers.
And dopamine?

That’s your “get-it-done” molecule, the fuel behind action, learning, and motivation.

This isn’t just a morning ritual.

This is the blueprint behind my LinkedIn newsletter, Body Mind Work better (or BMWb for short). It reflects the integrated system that runs your life.

• When your body works well,

• your mind becomes a powerful ally,

• and your work becomes a force for good.

You charge the engine,
drive with intention,
and deliver value.

That’s the loop. That’s the system. That’s the way.

If your energy is constantly depleted, you’ll constantly be fighting against your own life.

So start there. Charge the engine. Fuel the system. Let greatness follow.

July is my reflection month.

Another year of my life is passing - and for most of my family too.
This year, I’m also getting a new passport. A fresh decade of stamps, possibilities, and stories.

My last passport started with 3 years in the U.S.
This one will probably get its first stamp in the Middle East.

I already know some stamps I want to see in there:
Japan🇯🇵. New Zealand. Australia. Antarctica. Space👨‍🚀
(Yes - I believe space travel will be a thing. Why not aim for it? I also know that paper passports will be a thing of the past)

There are many things I did the wrong way in the past ten years.
But without those missteps, there wouldn’t be all the right things I’ll now do.

“We overestimate what we can do in a day,
but we underestimate what we can do in a decade.”

Almost anything is possible in ten years.
That book. That partner. That business. That house...
Your wildest dream can be done in just ten years of right steps away.

Do you ever stop and ask,
What do I want to create, experience, and become in the next 10 years?

PS That below is as close I got to space as I could. Me and Buzz Aldrin at the Moon Landing gala. The first place I went with that new passport I'm about to change.

What if the reason why you are afraid to fail is you are doing it wrong.

When I was learning to rollerblade I learned how to fall on flat ground first. Once you fall many times - you aren't afraid to take bigger swings cause you already know how to land badly, without hurting yourself much.

"Good pilots are quick, cheap and easy" - something struck a chord with me during my behavioral science lesson.

We’re afraid to fail because we treat failure like a final exam. We build this big, bloated thing that must succeed. Otherwise… we fall apart.

But what if we stopped building to win and started testing to learn?

What if, like smart startups, we designed small tests at every step to validate our (often wrong) assumptions?

Instead of trying to make our book a success before we’ve written a word, we write in public, daily.

Instead of organizing a big 100-person event, we run a few small ones and learn what works and what "fails".

Instead of launching a company-wide transformation campaign, we test changing one behavior in one team.

When you take this approach, “failure” just becomes feedback. You tweak and try again tomorrow. Not a big deal!

Sometimes in life, we have no choice but to make big bets and go for it with high stakes involved.

PS Ever wonder how the world’s best comedians succeed every time with their big-stage shows? They don’t guess. They workshop every single joke in tiny clubs one at a time - they run a bunch of pilots. Quick, cheap and easy. So when it's a big day - there's no guessing involved.

“You can’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.”
A quote Einstein never actually said but maybe should’ve.

This morning, I broke another coffee plunger. Glass everywhere. Morning cleanup. Not the first, won’t be the last. I definitely wouldn’t hire myself to sell crystal in a luxury boutique.

I’m like an elephant in a china shop lost in thought, half here, half in some future idea. Which, oddly enough, is also my superpower. (They say it was Einstein's too)

That ability to tune out the world and zoom in?

That’s how I build frameworks, connect dots others miss, turn fuzzy ideas into visual models that clarify complexity into simplicity. I see patterns, relationships, systems where everyone sees an unstructured mess. But ask me to do a detailed tax report? Absolutely not a chance. I outsource that.

An insight I'm putting these days into practice (frustrated with working hard and not getting to many places) - worldly success isn’t about talent, it’s about putting yourself in contexts where that talent becomes gold.

Knock on the doors wide open.

It’s not enough to know your strengths. You have to design a life that uses them and protects you from your blind spots.

This weekend, I put all my personality and strengths assessments into ChatGPT - VIA Strengths, CliftonStrengths, DiSC, Attributes - and asked it to help me build a work plan. What to delegate. How to organize my day around energy, not just time. Sales strategies that fit my style of curious inquiry and seeing patterns others miss. Systems to catch my weaknesses before they sabotage me.

I don’t expect to follow it perfectly. But I do intend to stop judging myself for not being good at things that aren’t mine to do. I’m not a tree climber. I’m a fish. I swim deep, and I bring up pearls.

Example: I don’t do “pushy sales.” I do collaborative exploration. I offer insights. We co-create the solution. Then we decide to collaborate. That’s where I shine. My clients often say, “I never thought about it that way,” or “I love that thing you just said, I’m going to use it.”

Helping others see better and build systems to act on it? That’s my craft.

Here’s another thought:

What if YOUR whole life was designed like that too?

What if you gave your assessments to AI and asked it to build you a:

• Daily work rhythm based on energy,

• Sales and communication style,

• Delegation list for energy drainers,

• Personal strategy to build systems to shine light on your blind spots,

• Recovery and creativity rituals to feel like your battery can last forever...

You’d stop spending your days climbing trees you were never built for.
You’d start swimming in the deep end of your genius.

Some assessments to try:

• VIA Character Strengths Survey

• CliftonStrengths Assessment (StrengthsFinder)

• DiSC Profile Assessment

Start there. Get to know yourself. Then build a system around who you are,  not who the world thinks you should be.

What’s one thing you’ve been trying to improve that might actually be something to delegate instead? Or a strength you’ve been underusing?

PS I appreciate upvotes, shares, and your opinion shared!

Your emotion is a choice

My dad is always cranky.
Rarely a smile. Always something wrong - with you, the world, or the room he’s in.

And he’s become a daily reminder to me: life is what you make of it.

There’s a phrase I love from Brad Stulberg, high-performance coach and author:

“Happiness is reality minus expectations.”

If you want rain and it’s sunny - you’re unhappy.
If it’s raining and you want sun - you’re also unhappy.
It’s not the weather. It’s your expectations.

Maybe the real game in life is learning to want what is.
Not passively. Not with fake gratitude.
But with a sense of power: I can choose how I feel about what’s here.

Yes, we keep striving. Yes, we go for the milestones, for growth, for improvement.
But maybe it’s also more useful to focus on the joy of creating something better, and not on the incompleteness of your life without it.

Joy doesn’t arrive when things are done.
It’s available while we’re doing them.

What expectation do you need to let go of to feel more happy today?