Daily Thought for Change

Everything that we’ve just talked about, I won’t be able to do it without some structure or practice.”

A client said this after we explored tools for dealing with challenging emotions, the ones that get triggered by other people:
feeling undermined, misunderstood, disrespected, humiliated, unsupported.

Such a mature, self-aware observation.

Knowing that about yourself is a game-changer for self-growth - that without systems, structure, practice, measurement, and some form of accountability, most self-development simply won’t happen.

Life will get in the way.

One of the most prolific executive coaches in the world that I learn a lot from, Marshall Goldsmith, often says that much of his work with top leaders is about helping them create structures for the internal work they need to do to grow.

And for internal work, this is even more true.

Because it’s invisible.
Unseen.
Easy to deprioritize.
Easy to forget.

One of Goldsmith’s most widely used tools is what he calls “Engaging Questions.”

The idea is as simple as it is powerful and effective.

You set a goal.
Then you design a small set of questions to reflect on your effort toward that goal daily, sometimes even hourly.

Not outcomes.
Effort. The only thing you can control.

Some examples:

• If you want to react less to what people say, ask yourself:
  “Did I do my best to react less and respond in a more aligned, self-aware way today?”

• If you want to listen more instead of jumping in with answers:
  “Did I do my best to listen more than I spoke today?”

• If you want to ruminate less on setbacks and see more learning, opportunity, or silver linings:
  “Did I do my best to see something useful or constructive in each challenge today?”

They say where your attention goes, energy flows.

This kind of structured reflection redirects your attention, again and again, toward the person you are intentionally trying to grow.

Not through willpower.
Through structure, that you can design.

Over to you, dear reader,

Do you have structures and systems in place for the internal work you need to do?
Or are you still hoping it will just happen?

PS: It doesn’t happen even for the best of us. Growth needs scaffolding. Without support, no seed can take root🌱

A lot of my clients are already high-achieving individuals. Why do they come to a coach?

They set goals.
They know they want more out of life and from themselves.
They are willing to work for it.
They’re ready to make hard choices and real sacrifices, and they are already doing it.

So if they’re already doing quite well, why do they come to a coach?

Why do all elite athletes, at the very top of their game, still have coaches too? Your favorite performer, or business owner has one for sure as well.

Because once you’re performing at a high level, it becomes harder to see what’s holding you back.

The patterns that helped you win so far are often the very ones that quietly cap your next level.
Not because they’re wrong.
But because, as the saying goes, what got you here won’t get you there.

Your destination has changed.
Your way of operating has to change with it.

Trying to figure that out on your own is like trying to read the label from inside the bottle.

What high-achievers actually pay for in coaching isn’t motivation, not even discipline (although sometimes they think they need it).

It’s reflection.
Pattern recognition.
Someone who challenges their default thinking.
Questions they don’t naturally ask themselves.
Frameworks and perspectives they wouldn’t arrive at alone.

Lately, 3 questions come up again and again in my work with high-performing clients.
They help shape a path that’s clearer, more aligned, and more fulfilling. And here they are ot help you as well:

Why am I doing this?

In transitions, when “here” no longer satisfies you, but “there” isn’t clear yet, this question matters more than any plan.

Reconnecting with your core values, with what’s essential for you to stay you, doesn’t give you a 10-year roadmap right away.
What it does give you is direction.

You start laying the right bricks into the right path unfolding, following your internal compass🧭
Step by step. Brick by brick.
So that each move takes you closer to where you were meant to go all along.

What would have to be true for me to get this… or there?

Sometimes you have a clear goal or vision.
Sometimes all you have is a feeling you want more of - more fulfillment, more alignment, more calm, more contribution.

Before you can build an effective plan, you need clarity.
How would you know you’re “there”?
What would have to be true for you to actually feel fulfilled? What are the signs that will tell you - you are on the right path?

It also helps to ask the elimination question:
What would have to be NOT present in my life for this to be possible?

From there, you start building. (Or eliminating)
One piece of the puzzle at a time🧩

Am I willing,

at this time,
to make the investment required
to make a positive difference
on this topic?

(A steal from one of the world's top executive coaches - Marshall Goldsmith).

This one is especially hard for high-achievers.

You have energy.
You have options.
You have resourcefulness.

So you sprinkle yourself everywhere, until there’s a lot happening, but most of it is mediocre, and doesn't make a dent.
There’s no empty space left for mastery of what matters.

We do this one practice, following this question.

Before taking on more, we pause and ask this question.
Then we look honestly at what this project will require to do a GREAT job VS just get it done.

Time.
Energy.
Attention.
Trade-offs.

Then we look at your calendar and existing commitments and ask:
Do I actually have the capacity?
And does this even make sense given my WHY and the direction I’m committing to?

All 3 of these questions require something most high-achievers, most doers don't do enough of.

Thinking time.
On your calendar.
Unrushed.
Uninterrupted.
Unoptimized.

Without a coach, most doers skip this work.
It feels inefficient.
There’s no immediate payoff. There are more urgent things.
Nothing to post about on LinkedIn on Monday morning.

But mastery, your next level, is this messy work.
With no guaranteed timeline.
And no instant rewards.

Without accountability, most of us will never stay with it long enough.

Will you, dear reader?

These questions will help.

Yesterday I was talking to a group of fund managers about introducing my FounderOS training system into their programming. One of them asked me:

“Do you think your training system is beneficial for young entrepreneurs who are just starting out?”

When you teach someone how to swim, it helps to guide them first.
You adjust their expectations.
You give them some training.

So that when you throw them into the water, they’re not in total shock, and can actually think, and have a better chance to survive.

But the biggest benefit isn’t technique.

It’s this:

They learn what doing something new can feel like. They adjust their expectations and prepare as well as they can.

I always say, "Entrepreneurship is a marathon with no finish line and no idea where/when the help comes, what you'll experience on your path" - so, get ready for this.

Entrepreneurship doesn’t work like school - I had to overcome my own "good student" false expectations of the busines game.

• Doing the work does not guarantee success.

• Effort in does not equal results out.

• Most of the time, you’re failing in public, learning as you go, with no promise or timeline for a "fair" payoff.

Just normalizing this changes everything.

It leads to better, more sustainable decisions.
And it protects people from the emotional roller-coaster, which might be the hardest part of the game to master, the part of the game that makes most people quit.

This Friday, I’m running a 24-hour relay race with a team.

A friend asked me,
“Are you prepared?”

The honest answer?

You can’t be fully prepared for something you’ve never done before.

But there is a skill that dramatically increases your chances of making it through, the skill that I've been training all along:

Adjusting your expectations.
And making key decisions in advance, while your brain is calm and can do its best job.

I’m using proven tools like:

• Mental contrasting (what I want vs. what will make it hard, preparing for the hard),

• Premortems (what can go wrong, and how I’ll handle it).

Because when your brain is exhausted, stressed, or emotional, it doesn't work well at all - it just wants you to quit and get back to "safety".

It will be hard.
I have no idea how it will turn out.

So my job now is:

1. Gather the best prep tips I can.

2. Decide in advance:

   • How I’ll pace myself.

   • Under what conditions we push, slow down, or stop.

   • What our game plan is when things inevitably go sideways.

All of that gets decided before the stress comes.

Sound familiar?

Entrepreneurship, and most real life, plays by the same rules.

Over to you, dear reader,

Where might your expectations be getting in the way of your success?
And what decisions could you make now , while you’re calm, to help you choose better in the hot moments of life, work and racing?

“We willfully ignore how profoundly the environment influences our behavior. In fact, the environment is a relentless triggering mechanism that, in an instant, can change us from saint to sinner, optimist to pessimist, model citizen to thug—and make us lose sight of who we’re trying to be.”
— "Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts—Becoming the Person You Want to Be" by Marshall Goldsmith, the greatest executive coach.

If you’ve ever seriously tried to change a habit, you already know this.

How you set up your surroundings.
Your schedule.
What’s around you.
Who’s around you.

All of it quietly defines how likely you are to succeed.

And yet, we humans love to believe we’re fully in control of our actions, despite all that's around.
There’s no shortage of gurus telling you to just take responsibility, own your actions.

That advice is useful, when you’re actually making conscious choices.

The problem?

Research suggests that up to 88% of what we do is automated, outside of conscious awareness.

So we’re not choosing most of our actions.

So who is?

Your environment.

You ate the cookie because it was right there, not because you made a values-based decision against fruit.
You snapped because “this person always pushes your buttons.”
You felt low all day and never once considered that lack of light, gloomy weather, or poor sleep might be running the show.

We’re remarkably unaware of what actually shifts our moods, energy and behaviors.

This blog isn’t about turning you into some discipline robot, who'll be able to control it all.
That doesn’t work, not even for the best coaches in the world.

We all share humanity.

This blog is about realizing how much power your environment already has, and getting better at 3 actions that help it work for your goals, not against them.

1. ANTICIPATE

What environment do you need to succeed?

Design for it in advance.

Want someone to be more flexible in a negotiation?
Say something kind before you start.
Bring their favorite drink.
Make it warm.
Choose a time when they’re fed and not rushed.

Want to speak well on stage?
Think of what makes YOU the best speaker you can be in advance.

Want to eat well?
What kind of fridge supports that?
What restaurants do you go to?
Do you have snacks for Your Best with you always?

Behavior doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
It happens in context.

2. AVOID

Some environments aren’t worth “powering through.”

Some people you can gradually speak to less.
Some places don’t need to be part of your routine anymore.

Don’t walk past bakeries and cinnamon-roll cafés if you’re trying to eat better.
Walk past a fruit and veg market instead.

The first line of defense for people quitting smoking or drinking isn’t more discipline.
It’s avoiding places and people that trigger old habits.

That’s not weakness.
That’s intelligence.

Save your strength for the battles that matter instead of creating more of them and draining your will.

3. ADJUST

And sometimes… you can’t avoid it.

You have to talk to people you don’t like.
You’re cooking family dinners while changing your diet.
You’re doing work you don’t love.

So what then?

You prepare to protect Your Best.

When I rented a shared place and didn’t vibe with the owner, I didn’t argue about who was right or wrong.
I needed peace of mind to do my work. It was temporary.
So I nodded. Stayed busy. Kept my energy clear.

When my dad says something I fully disagree with, and I know I won’t change it, what’s the point of arguing?
Change the subject. Keep everyone's mind busy.

When you’re around people who don’t support your lifestyle?
Do your thing.
Explain nothing.

And work you don’t like?

Change what you can.
Get through the rest.

Every job has some part you tolerate to access the parts you value.
Trade-offs are everywhere.
Choose the ones you can live with.

Over to you, dear reader,

The environment you create and place yourself in daily - it shapes you more than motivation ever could.

It’s driving up to 88% of your actions, so, are you working with it like a designer?

Or still treating it like some mysterious force that “just happens” to you?

“I used to be able to do intermittent fasting so well!
And now it seems like I can’t do it anymore.”

A gym friend shared with me yesterday.

When I see a “failure” with a habit — fitness, eating, work, discipline — I can guarantee it’s one of the 2 things none of which have to do with your actual ability to do the thing:

1. Too much, too fast.

2. No system of support for real change.

Too much. Too fast.

You throw yourself at a habit like a frog into boiling water.
The frog jumps out🐸

Your nervous system gets flooded with stress hormones.
Your energy tanks.
Hunger spikes.
Your tolerance, mental and physical, hasn’t been built yet.

So of course, it feels impossible.
And of course, you quit.

Would you walk into a gym and start squatting 100kg with zero training?

Probably not.

Is it possible with training?
For most adults without injuries — absof*ckinlutely.

Can you do 100 cold reach-outs a day, get mostly NOs, and still feel confident, excited and peaceful?

Absolutely.
From day one?

Probably not.

Same principle.

Your nervous systems adjusts through reps and then that “hard thing” doesn’t feel that hard.

Intermittent fasting isn’t special.
It’s just another load.

Start with 10–11 hours.
Get consistent with finishing dinner an hour earlier.
Build tolerance.

Instead of jumping straight to 18 hours or one meal a day, which is like trying to lift those 100kg without warming up.

No systems of support for change.

If you want to fast successfully, ask yourself:

• Have you designed it around your work schedule?

• Your social life?

• Your energy cycles?

• Your most productive hours?

• Your non-fasting meals, are they actually planned well?

Or are you eating at random times, random food, that fight your biology, your calendar, and your life…
and then wondering why the habit feels like the whole world is against it, including you with some form of “self sabotage”?

If so, yes, the whole world is against your new habit.

Because you designed it that way.

I organize my meals to support my work, my social life, and my energy.
So fasting doesn’t feel heroic.
It feels a natural part of my life.

Less friction.
More follow-through.

Fight less. Win more.

This isn’t a willpower problem.
It’s a design solution.

So, as we move into the second month of 2026 this week, dear reader, ask yourself:

Where have I designed my “game” as a losing proposition, and where would better design help me win more?

When somebody cooks a dish for us, at home, in a restaurant, in a café, whether we like it depends on a few things.

Our expectations.
What we think a good meal is supposed to be.
The right amount of salt.
The right amount of “cooked.”
The right presentation and portion size.

Some people love medium steak. For me, that’s raw. I wouldn’t eat it if you paid me.

Then there are our preferences.
What we crave on that particular day.
Sweet or salty.
Light or heavy. Exciting or comforting.

We love different food.
We admire different people.
We strive for different things at different stages of life.

None of this is good or bad.
Right or wrong.

It’s simply what matches our expectations, preferences, values, desires, and needs right now.

The challenging part in life is often...

Sometimes we cling to an outdated idea of who we are for too long.
What we need.
What we like.
What we’re supposed to want. What we’re supposed to have by now.

Even when life starts sending clear signals that something has shifted, that we need to evolve and change.

A seed in a garden doesn’t get mad at the change of seasons.
It changes with the season, so it can grow.

With all the ways we’ve adapted the world to us, we sometimes forget that we still have to adapt to the world as well.
And the world never stops changing.

Unlike plants, we get angry at that.
Or sad.
Or resistant.

And that resistance makes change far more painful than it needs to be.

I love this simple formula:

Happiness = Reality − Expectations

It’s a reminder that happiness is mostly an inside job because expectations are the only thing we actually control.

I recently finished this beautiful book The Other Side of Change: who we become when life makes other plans by Maya Shankar.

The core message reminded me:
The most important work is matching our evolution to the change as it unfolds.

Not clinging to old identities just because we’ve had them for a long time.

Change is the only constant.
Which means you have to be evolving all the time too.

So how do you do that, without losing yourself? Parts of you that make you - YOU?

One of the most useful tools in the book, for me, was asking a deceptively simple question:

“Why do I do the things that I do?”

The why tends to be long-lasting.
The what will keep changing, especially in a world that’s accelerating this fast.

When Maya Shankar had to stop being a violinist, she didn’t just ask, What else can I do?
She asked, Why did I love being a violinist in the first place?

And then she found another way to live those same values, eventually becoming a brilliant cognitive scientist.

Vera Wang transitioned from a competitive figure skater who was getting ready for the Olympic team to a groundbreaking fashion designer and bridal industry icon by asking why.

That question did the same thing for me - that’s how I’m not afraid of the world of AI.

Why do I do my work?
To unlock human potential in people who are striving.

The roles change.
The tools change.
The formats change.

The why doesn’t.

And as many of you will have to change what you do “on paper” multiple times in your lives now, this question becomes essential:

Why do I do the things that I do?
And what else could fulfil the same why as the world changes?

Over to you, dear reader,

Why do YOU do your work?
And what other paths might let keep that why alive? 

Every weekend I do a cold plunge at about 8°C for 8–10 minutes.

I never feel cold.
What I feel is pain, when I first get in.

How do I make the pain go away faster?

I start talking to anyone who’s around the plunge.

The pain doesn’t disappear.
My attention shifts.

And once my attention shifts, I stop noticing the pain.

That’s the whole trick for 10-minute cold baths.

Years ago, when I decided to go sugar-free🍬, I learned this technique while working with my cravings. The most effective way to get through intense cravings wasn’t to fight them or “be strong, or disciplined.”

It was to distract myself.

Not in a mindless way, but intentionally.

Trying to beat a craving, an emotion, or a thought pattern only gives it more airtime. Attention is fuel. Resistance is still attention.

The same applies to unproductive emotions, thoughts, and behaviors:

• self-doubt

• self-criticism

• rumination on past failures

• spirals of overthinking

Stop fighting your mind.

Learn to shift, not to force change.

Your mind can fully focus on only one thing at a time. Multitasking is a myth. Use this knowledge.

When you want to reduce or redirect unhelpful thinking, ask yourself a question:

What can I pay attention to instead?

That question creates space for redirection to happen.

For me, one practical tool is what I call Empower-me List.

It’s a curated list of people and voices that instantly make me feel stronger, more capable, more resilient, and ready to act, despite all odds.

Sarah Blakely, Alex Hormozi, Robert Green, Leila Hormozi, Mel Robbins, Rony Robbins, Sharran Srivatsaa, Scott Barry Kaufman…

They show up on my Instagram feed the moment I open the app.

And just like that, my thinking shifts.
My emotional state shifts.
My judgment shifts.
My willingness to commit shifts.

Sometimes I need calm strength.
Sometimes I need fire.

I choose accordingly.

This isn’t accidental motivation.
It’s intentional attention design.

That’s why I often ask my clients to create their own empower-me lists:

• social media accounts

• Spotify playlists

• YouTube channels

• books

• podcasts

Prepared before they need them.

Just like you’d prep healthy food before you get hungry, if you’re serious about feeding your best self.

Shift.
Don’t fight.

Give the right thoughts your full attention.
What you water will grow🌱

Over to you, dear reader,
Do you have an empower-me list ready for when unhelpful thoughts and emotional patterns show up?

Your "hidden" potential is in plain sight. 

For a long time, humans didn’t have a word for the color blue.
It was one of the last color words to evolve. Mostly because nothing essential for survival was blue.

And because of that, everything that was blue appeared black, grey, dark, or green to people.

The ability to see blue was always there.
But you couldn’t really use it until you knew what to call it. Until you were told it's there.

The same thing happens with human talent and potential often.

A lot of our abilities stay underdeveloped and underused simply because we don’t have good definitions for them. Nobody tells us it's there, or how and why we should use it.

Psychologists and cognitive scientists say that people with a richer emotional vocabulary experience richer emotional lives. They notice nuance. Subtle differences. Gradations.

For people with a poor emotional vocabulary, everything collapses into one category.
“It’s all kind of black and white.”

That dark, greenish color instead of shades of blue.

It's like when people are trained to become a wine sommelier. For you and me - it'll all taste the same. For them, there are thousands of variations.

Some time ago, I learned a concept called the TEA account from one of the lead coaching instructors in the course I was taking.

TEA stands for Time Energy Attention.

That’s the lens he teaches his clients to look at life through if they want to understand why their life looks the way it does, and how to change it.

Because in the end, the way you allocate your TEA account is the way you end up living your life.

For better.
Or worse.

If I want to predict where your life (or my own) will end up in a few years, I don’t need your goals.

I need to see where your TEA pours.

Where your TEA goes, your life flows.

That’s why, during my Sunday reflection, I started adding one more check-in, not on outcomes, but on TEA allocation.

I ask myself:

“Where did my time, energy, and attention go this week?
And would the person I aspire to become allocate their TEA this way?”

If the answer is no, I course-correct early.
Before life quietly drifts in a direction I don’t actually want to go.

Before I had this concept, “manifestation” felt like magic.
Mysterious. Random. A bit woo.

Now it feels much more like keeping a budget.

Over time, your life isn’t defined by what you want, by what you visualize.
It’s defined by what you consistently spend your TEA on.

So, over to you, dear reader,

What still feels like invisible magic running your life right now?
And where might learning the right word help you put it back into your zone of mastery and control?

PS Business used to feel like magic to me. When I started breaking it down into concrete concepts I could learn, skills I could master - it became more like school I could prep for, less like magic I hope to work.

There’s a very specific way you move, sit, and talk.
And all of it is a set of habits you can change.

That’s why there are voice coaches.
Posture specialists.
Movement coaches of every kind, especially for actors and people whose image matters.

Nothing about how you show up is fixed.

And neither is how you think.

At the coaching course I’m attending, yesterday we practiced techniques that help people reprogram their thinking, their mindset so that emotions and actions downstream work better for their lives.

The first step is always the same.

Whether it’s voice coaching, posture coaching, or mindset coaching:
you create awareness of what you’re doing, when, and how.

You need to know what you’re working with before trying to change it.

Voice coaches ask you to record yourself speaking.
Posture coaches ask you to film yourself.
I give my clients a thought audit exercise, to capture unhelpful thinking patterns in real time as they show up.

Before a change, there has to be awareness of what it is there to change.

Only then can you work on each piece, one rep at a time, replacing the old pattern with a better one.

If you speak too softly and need more impact - you practice speaking with more volume for a week.
If you speak too fast - you practice slowing down.
If you use too many filler words - you practice pauses.

Thinking is no different.

The only issue?
Nobody but you can hear it.

So write it down.
Every time you catch a thought you don’t like. This is what I call Thought Audit.

If you constantly worry, practice shifting your focus to what you can control, and act there.

If your mind keeps replaying everything that went wrong (or might), ask:
What did this give me? What did I learn? What insight is here? What can go right and good?

If self-doubt shows up on repeat, counter it with evidence - hard things you’ve already done.

And just like with any serious coaching…

You don’t do this once.
You don’t keep it all in your head.
You don’t “hope it sticks.”

You train.

You track your workouts.
You track the reps.
The weight.
The time.
The sets.

And you reflect - daily, weekly, monthly.

At our coaching study session, we all admitted the same thing:
we need to stop treating our thoughts like some magical kingdom we can’t reach...

…and start treating them like a gym💪

Notice what needs work.
Design the program.
Do the reps.
Track.
Adjust.
Repeat.

No magic required.

Over to you, dear reader, have you scheduled your mindset gym sessions yet?

A good system works so well that you don’t notice it.
Until it stops working.

This morning I opened a cabinet to grab my electrolytes before a workout.
And I saw something strange.

The vitamins 💊 I was supposed to take last night were still sitting on my electrolyte bottle.

Untouched.

I haven’t forgotten to take supplements in almost a decade!
So this felt… unreal. Almost impossible. Like seeing an alien!

Then I laughed.

Ah.
That’s exactly how my clients forget to take their pills.

Not because they’re forgetful.
Not because they don’t care.

But because they built a system that doesn’t actually work for the human brain.

Any habit you want to repeat without thinking needs 3 things:

• A cue – something that reminds you to act

• An action – a simple, repeatable sequence

• A reward – some sense of benefit or satisfaction

So what went wrong with my evening supplements?

In my old place, I always put them where I ate dinner.
While eating, I’d see them.
I’d take them. No thinking required.

In this temporary place, I couldn’t put them near the dinner table.
So I tucked them away in a cabinet.
Out of sight. Out of system. Out of mind.

And so… I forgot.

I forgot so completely that seeing them the next morning felt shocking.

But ... that was good news.

Because it reminded me how powerful good systems really are.

A great system frees your mind from small, repetitive decisions,
so it can focus on things that actually matter.

David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, has a saying:

“Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.”

That’s what systems are for.

Whenever I move into a new place, temporary or permanent, I do this first:
I make sure my day-to-day life requires as little thinking as possible.

Because when the basics run on autopilot, creativity shows up fully.
Focus deepens.
Flow becomes available and almost inevitable.

You can’t fully forget the outside world if your brain is busy reminding you to drink water, take supplements, send that email, remember "that" thing.

That's what systems are for.
Your mind gets to do what it does best - thinking and solving problems - at its full capacity, unoccupied by the mundane.

Over to you, dear reader,

Where in your life are you trying to remember your way to consistency, instead of designing a system that makes it happen?