Daily Thought for Change

The impulsive and the rational.
The animal and the uniquely human.
System 1 and System 2 thinking.

Reading Dan Heath’s Upstream: how to solve problems before they happen reminded me of 3 mindsets that help us actually do that.

Impatient with Action, Patient with Outcome

Our impulsive side wants results now.
Our rational self knows life doesn’t work like that.

Most things unfold in their own time. The only lever we do control is the work we put in today.

Want a better body, business, or life?
Start working. Forget the outcome.

Let your animal self give you the energy.
Let your rational self give you the patience to wait long enough for the results to show up.

Macro Goals, Micro Solutions

Before you change the world, learn how one person changes.
Before you grow a garden, figure out how one tree grows.
Before you build a great business, learn how to deliver value to one client.

“Will it scale?” is the wrong question in the beginning.
Big things don’t start at scale. They start small.
One rep. One book. One client. One shift.

Inch by inch, brick by brick, drip by drip...

Tiny Experiments, Not Silver Bullets

People who lose weight and keep it off don’t follow a magic diet.
They learn to navigate life, one meal, one decision, one tiny experiment at a time.

People who build great businesses aren’t glued to a “best-in-class” strategy.
They test. They learn. They adapt.
One experiment at a time.

People who stay married long-term don’t follow a 10-step formula.
They stay curious. They keep trying. One small argument at a time.

Life is like moving through fog.
You don’t find the perfect path. You feel your way forward, one imperfect step at a time.

Consider the weak link

When you're dreaming big, starting that business, landing that promotion, getting healthier, it helps to focus on all your strengths: your vision, your drive, your resources.

But when it’s time to do the work, it’s wiser to focus on what might get in the way.

I got this image yesterday, in BJ Fogg’s newsletter, “Ability Chain”, which was a good reminder - your ability to follow through is only as strong as your weakest link, be it time, money, physical effort, mental effort, or breaking your routine.

Say you’re tired, short on time, low on willpower. What then? What's your game plan for rain?

That’s the moment most plans fall apart, your diet gets replaced with a chocolate cake for dinner or additional hours of business building turn into Netflix binge-watch marathon, not because the goals weren’t worthy, but because you didn't have guardrails in place.

Let me explain.

Fogg recommends anchoring your goals in habits with the fewest weak links. Because motivation will fail and when it's easier you'll get it done still. I’d add this: for any goal that matters, that will require hard work, set up guardrails for your worst days which will prevent you from "falling".

Guardrails are things that catch you before you crash:

• A spending cap or leaving your wallet at home.

• Deleting Amazon’s 1-click settings or food delivery apps.

• Setting defaults and boundaries before you're tempted, like canceling meetings to leave no choice but get to work. (Many famous writers did just that - locked themselves in a cabin with a binary choice, do nothing or write)

Think about your last misstep, what stopped you? Was it a lack of time? Energy? Was it just too hard in the moment?

Now think of what guardrail could’ve helped you stay on track?

Make your path easier and set guardrails for hard things. Not for when you're at your best, but for when it all goes south.

That’s how real change sticks.

A nudge - a feature of your environment that changes your behavior

Our lives are winding paths between nudges we choose or someone else chooses for us.

Every morning, I wake up to a dry brush waiting for me. Then a toothbrush. Then a water bottle by the salt shaker, reminding me to start my hydration and the day all cleaned up.

Next, 2 clear paths:

• My gym bag, ready to go.

• Or my writing desk, set up with a notebook with fresh ideas.

My planner’s open too, nudging me toward my commitments.

Breakfast? No thought needed.
French press is prepped. Eggs are boiled. Tuna can’s out. Supplements lined up. Fruit or salad on hand.
I use zero willpower for any of this.
I’m a professional nudger, architecting my life choice by choice.

Today we’re staying with the environment theme, talking about nudges.

It’s not just objects that nudge and shape us.
People are nudges too.
Your friends, your coworkers, your reference group. They’re nudging you somewhere, all the time. Keeping you moving? Keeping you stuck?

“Sitting near high performers can increase productivity, quality of work, and effectiveness. A study found that sitting within 25 feet of a high performer improved performance by 15%.”

The flip side?
Toxic or low-performing neighbors can drag you down twice as fast, "Proximity to low performers or toxic employees can decrease performance, engagement, and morale. Research indicates that negative spillovers can be twice as impactful as positive spillovers, with performance declining by up to 30% when sitting near a low performer."

They call it the Chameleon Effect.
We pick up behaviors, attitudes, energy, good or bad, from those around us.

Today I’m changing my scenery. I need a change, a shakeup.
New place. New routines. Because the surest way to shift how you think and feel is to shift what surrounds you.

Want to change your life? Don't change yourself - change your nudges.

Look at:

• Places (Silicon Valley or Blue Zones effect)

• People (your five closest, your reference group)

• Rules, tools, defaults, processes (you chose your tools and then they make you)

• Your fridge (which becomes your mirror)

What’s nudging you?
Is it helping you move forward, or keeping you stuck?

“Your ZIP code matters more than your genetic code.”
— Dan Heath, Upstream: How to solve problems before they happen

At my gym, there’s a crew called the Sunrise Squad.
They train together.
They plan active weekends.
They cheer each other on.

No one’s preaching or pushing, but the message is loud,
People like us do things like this.

They’ve built a culture, one that supports consistency, health, joy.

It’s not about willpower.
It’s not about motivation.
It’s about environment.

Just look at the Blue Zones, places where people routinely live past 100.
Or business hubs like Silicon Valley.
It’s not superior genes.
It’s the ecosystem: shared values, access to resources, identity by osmosis.

That’s why behavior change experts like BJ Fogg and Katy Milkman say the environment is the #1 lever.
Not mindset.
Not habits.
Not goals.
Environment.

It's not you that needs to change first.
It’s where you are, and who you’re around.

The people you talk to.
The podcasts you binge.
The coworkers in your meetings.
The friends who drag you to 5am workouts.
Or brunch.
Or burnout.

If you're trying to create a health culture at home…
Or a resilience, innovation, or focus culture at work…
Don’t start by fixing people.

Start by fixing the surroundings.

Because environment shapes your behavior.
And your behaviors shape your future.

Don’t forget to check in with those.

This morning, ChatGPT prompted me,
"Identify something you tried recently that didn’t go as planned. Write: ‘This setback is the proof I’m stretching — and that’s good.’”
It got me thinking.

Lately, I’ve had my share of not-yets, the proposals that didn’t land, the contract that slipped through, the promising chats that didn’t turn into sales. But every one of those “failures” taught me something. They shaped how I show up. They sharpened my pitch. And now, I’m closer than ever to closing the biggest contracts of my life.

But this isn't about the wins.
It’s about what happens before the wins.
It’s about swinging at bigger pitches. Taking higher shots.
Probably no one makes the Olympic team on their first try, but "the try" changes their game completely!

Trying to reach that next level forces you to train at a new level.
It changes your routines. It changes your mindset.
It changes you.

Here’s a reframe,
Instead of frowning at your latest flops, compare them to your older ones.
Back then, were you even trying things this bold?
Did your past failures require this kind of work, this kind of courage? This kind of growth?

With many of my clients we go through this. The valley of frustration.
“It’s been two years, and I still haven’t figured it ALL out.”

But they forget to zoom out and see the bigger pattern, how the things they once stumbled over have now become part of their daily rhythm, something they don't even think about, how their new challenges are harder, higher-stakes, more meaningful, how getting of the couch was a struggle and now they are frustrated with not running a sub-20-minute 5 miler!

So today, June 1st, for #ReflectionSunday, take a moment, reflect with me.

Look at your failures.
Are they signs you’re falling forward?🌱
Are they proof you’re stretching further than ever before?
Because that is the real measure of growth.

The Frustration List

I bet you have one.
All those small, medium, and massive things you’re not satisfied with.
The stuff you feel you need to “fix” to finally get it together.
To feel caught up.
Proud.
At peace.

A client shared their list with me the other day.
I’ve got mine too. Let me give you a peek,

“My business, career, and impact need to level up so I can proudly say what I’ve built.
My desk is chaos, paper - notes, notebooks - pieces of unfinished, or to-start projects.
I don’t feel I show up for family and friends the way I want to.
My phone is embarrassing. I keep putting off getting a new one.
I need to take care of my teeth.
I need better systems for serving my clients.
I probably need a lot more time to figure out AI at work and in life.
My style needs a refresh.
My Italian learning? I barely touch it these days.

..."

You know what I mean, right?

There’s never enough time, energy, money, bandwidth to fix it all.
And there never will be.

Even that person who looks like they’ve got it all figured out?
They’ve got a list too.

So what do you do with it?

Try to erase your frustrations with discipline?
Meditate them away like a Zen master?
Ignore them until they boil over?

There’s a better way.

Here’s what I learned from researchers of well-being and meaningful productivity,

You write it down.
All of it.
One frustration after another, your own frustration list.

I promise, you’ll feel lighter just from that.

Then you go one by one and ask.

“Is this a burden I can let go of?
“Or is this something I actually want to do something about?

The truth is, you can’t do it all.
You never will.
And that’s okay.

Life doesn’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to meet all your high standards.
You just need to keep moving toward what actually makes life feel meaningful to you.

Time to work with your calendar:

• Pick one thing.

• Put it on your calendar.

• Not to solve the whole damn thing. Just to start.

My teeth probably need a whole dental strategy,
But for now?
A check-up is a good first move.

You can even just schedule time to think.
Plan how you’ll move forward.
That counts too.

Step by step.
Day by day. Inch by inch.

That’s how change happens.
That’s how a meaningful life gets made.

As David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, puts it,
“Your head is a crappy office.”

And he’s right.

Well-being researchers agree,
One of the worst things you can do for peace of mind is trying to keep everything in your head.

Time to write that list ✍️

Is it reasonable to expect what you want from the reps you put in? Objectively?

I love collecting data with clients, especially around reps, repst at work, reps in the gym.
The reps you actually put in.

There’s never anything wrong with you when you fall short of a goal.
But there might be something off with the amount or quality of work you’re doing.

I often ask,
“Looking at the effort you put in last week, last month… is it reasonable to expect the result you’re hoping for?”

Most of the time, the answer is no.

In nutrition coaching, we talk about “the cost of getting lean.”
It’s a set of behaviors you have to do consistently to get to a certain level of body composition. Certain things you have to give up, sacrifice, trade.
Each level demands more. More attention. More sacrifice.
You don’t get elite results doing what everyone else does.

You might get lucky.
But you can’t build a life, a business, or a body on luck.

I was talking to a friend who’s a speaker and consultant.
He’s been landing one speaking gig after gig lately. I caught myself getting frustrated, why am I not getting as many invites?
Then I remembered, he’s been reaching out consistently for months.

And I had to laugh.

I’m that person who’s mad she isn’t fit… but hasn’t shown up to the gym in weeks.

This morning, it hit me,
Angela, you’re still chasing outcomes instead of focusing on the reps.

I haven’t had a fitness goal in years, and yet I stay in better shape than most. Why?
Because I show up.
I put in the reps.

Maybe it’s time to do the same at work.
Show up. Deliver.
Let the results be the side effect.

So let's ask ourselves today,
Is it reasonable to expect what you want…given the work you’ve been putting in?

The Displacement Principle

When you eat more bread, you’re not just adding calories, you’re crowding out space for fruit, veggies, and proteins. You simply end up eating less good stuff.

I used to think certain foods were bad: too many carbs, too much fat, too many calories. But the deeper I got into nutrition, the more I realized this, processed food isn’t dangerous because it’s “bad.”
It’s dangerous because it displaces what your body truly needs to run smoothly, fiber, minerals, vitamins, proteins and essential fats, whole foods that help you heal, grow, and thrive.

It’s not just about what you eat.
It’s true for how you live.

Social media, TV, overworking, always saying yes, being constantly available, they’re not evil. But if they fill your ENTIRE day, they leave no space for the “soul nutrition”,

• Quiet thinking time

• Meaningful, non-stimulative recovery

• Curiosity

• Self-reflection

• The “makes-no-sense-but-feels-right” things

• Creating, learning, asking better questions

It’s not about quitting everything. It’s about making room for more of the stuff that matters, that keeps you living, not just surviving.

Eating fruit and veg every day isn’t always fun but it keeps life energized AND, ironically, makes you enjoy that occasional cake a lot more with no feeling of guilt.

Let’s play a game, shall we?

You probably got all excited, didn’t you?

We’re not actually playing, but I want you to catch that feeling. Fun flips a switch. Suddenly, you're ready to take action. When you say “I’m on a mission” or “I’m going to win this,” something shifts. Even when things get hard, energy rises instead of dropping.

What's the difference between fun and hard work?

Believe it or not, it's just the story and a few gamification rules. All kinds of fitness competitions feel fun and yet most of them are the hardest thing you've done. Why do people sign up for them in hundreds and thousands?

There’s a reason why so many top companies from banks to facebook build gamification into everything. It works.

One key principle? Progress.
Gamification shows you how far you’ve come. It keeps you hooked, engaged, and moving forward, uses all the sunk costs and other fallacies your brain has. And the best part? You can use this on yourself.

Whatever your mission, getting fit, building a business, becoming your superhero self, make it a quest. That boring stretch of daily chicken and inbox-checking becomes slaying monsters and unlocking levels.

So… let’s play.

• Name your mission, name your quest. Get creative. Make it fun!

• Define your daily quest (the stuff that actually needs doing).

• Track it. Make progress visible. A jar of beads. A chart. My favorite? 100 boxes, one for each day. No day goes unchecked, no day without a mission.

• Do a daily review. Like you would playing Mario. What worked? What didn’t? What will it take to level up?

• Celebrate milestones. Not just end goals. Games have levels for a reason! If they just put you up against the main bad guy and said - go figure - would the game be fun?

It’s simple. When something feels like a game, you’ll do it more often. You’ll stay longer. You’ll show up.

AND it'll feel like fun.

Have you ever gamified your fitness, business, or any personal goal? I'm starting to do this with clients now. ANYTHING can be gamified.

Let’s play to win. Let's level up. Let's gamify your hero's journey - you have one.

P.S. Companies across industries are using gamification to drive behavior. Banks. Non-profits. Startups. Why? Because it taps into how motivation really works. Here are all the case studies.

On strongest discipline. People who have it create a personal quest. That's what get them going 😉🏆

What’s in It for Me? The Psychology Behind Showing Up

If I ask you to do something, the first question your brain fires back is: Why?

Almost immediately after, it does a quick calculation,
“What’s in it for me?”
And if the answer feels worth it, if the incentive matches your goals, values, beliefs - you take action.
That’s just how human psychology works.

It works so reliably that one of the world’s top gamification-for-business companies used it to help CAIXA Bank surpass their annual goal of reaching 9 billion Brazilian reais in revenue, months ahead of schedule!

“The core strategy was to connect business objectives with the emotional motivations of each employee. The gamification was designed to transform the act of meeting goals into an enjoyable experience, where each goal achieved resulted in a positive interaction with the implemented engagement techniques. These techniques served as psychological rewards, encouraging employees to repeat desirable behaviors and creating continuous cycles of engagement. In this way, the simple act of achieving goals became something employees genuinely wanted to do, significantly increasing their involvement and enthusiasm across the board.”
— Ricardo Lopes Costa, The Fantastic Engagement Factory

If it worked for a company with 83,000 employees, it will work for you.

Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, whatever hard goal you’ve set, you need more than willpower.
You need a reason to care. You need your WHY, as Simon Sinek would say.
You need to turn the journey into something that feels epic.
Something meaningful.

At the very least, you need a sharp answer to this,
What’s the mission? Why does this matter to me?

The people who stay the course, who show up with energy, who keep going even when it’s hard?
They’re not just disciplined.
They’ve figured out their hero’s journey. They know what they're fighting for.
They’ve made their mission matter.

No motivation = no fire = no follow-through.

So if you're leading a team, or yourself, remember this,
Before tactics, before strategy, before KPIs...
You’re working with humans.
And humans need their why.

Behavior change starts there.

Do you know what motivates you?
Do your people know what motivates them?